God is love.  Heaven will be being nestled in that love and really knowing it and returning it fully.  When we lose someone, we pine for that nestled love we could approximate on this Earth.

We know God has prepared a place for each of us when we finally start walking back on the road to home, and that He will kill the fatted calf and host us with the finest bread when we arrive.  God waits eagerly for each of us to seek him, to cooperate with His will, and find our way home. He showers grace on our every day of living to pull us towards Him and on that final day to help us in our littleness.   Those we love who have died, are still even more deeply nestled in love with us than they were on Earth, because they can love us now more perfectly than they could here.   They can pray for us and be part of that road that leads us home, in death and after death more than they could perhaps in life.

The thin curtain that hides our Beloved and our loved ones is there to deepen our faith.  Because we cannot yet love perfectly, we cannot endure yet the scrutiny we would give our own selves if faced with perfect love.  We would fall to our knees like Peter and say “Depart from me, I am a sinful man.” if faced with Christ in our midst directly.    We would understand as Mother Teresa did, that we were nothing.  Yet God loves our nothingness.  It is why He calls us to love what we cannot fully see in the form of the Eucharist.  Likewise, the unborn or the dead all invite us to love as God loves, perfectly without recompense, without limits, with our whole hearts.  We do not pierce the thin curtain between life and death or between seen and unseen, but our love like His love, does.

Pray for my friend, for her family and for the repose of the soul of her Father. Pray that all the souls alive and departed eventually seek to be nestled in perfect love.  Not one sheep lost.


Copyright 2010 Sherry Antonetti

These beliefs are appropriately expressed in our various liturgies.

This does not mean however, there is never a diverse group of alternative rituals and prayers that might be used in worship.
The penitential rite offers various forms that may be used in the Liturgy. One option is to include the revised form of the Confiteor, and sing the Kyrie. During the liturgical season of Lent perhaps it is appropriate and fitting that we focus more distinctly on our call to penance and conversion and express our needs for forgiveness in alternative forms. Reciting this form of the penitential rite not only recalls our pre-Vatican II traditions of liturgy, but also recalls the Roman and Greek influences that have affected our worship throughout the centuries. Remember, the Kyrie is a Greek invocation that is rooted in our prayers before the Great Western Schism. While it might imply there is a true lack of unity between Occidental and Oriental, East and West parts of our Church most clearly it is an invocation to the Father of mercies for universal forgiveness. Once again, our active praying expresses the belief we foster in a merciful God that calls all peoples to salvation.

The Liturgy is also a form of teaching all of us about the rich traditions that play a part in our Catholic lives. Our liturgical expression is reflective of the cumulative journey our Church has experienced since the time of the Apostles. It is also reflective of the diverse cultural contributions that have been made to the form of our liturgical expression for centuries. Our linguistic roots in the Roman Rite are in Latin, but even liturgical development recalls that Greek is an integral tongue of prayer in the Catholic experience worldwide.

In the United States, especially since the liturgical reforms of Vatican II, there has been a tendency to forget our Roman and therefore Latin roots in the liturgy. The Fathers of Vatican II indicated very clearly that all Catholics should be able to celebrate the essential parts of the Mass in both their native tongues (in our case…English), and in Latin (the traditional language of the Church of Rome).Perhaps only we as Americans have this aversion to foreign languages and perhaps a fear of Latin. Maybe it reflects an antiquated Church or a deeply seated phobia of gerunds and gerundives. Whatever the reason it is refreshing to see the celebrant of the liturgy exercise true leadership of the prayerful assembly and use all available forms and options available to make the Eucharistic liturgy reflect both the beliefs of our Church as well as the traditions of our Roman Rite.

Recently in my parish, in addition to intoning the Kyrie Eleison, the priest celebrants have varied the use of Eucharistic prayers at Mass. The quickie and old favorite Eucharistic prayer number 2…which begins, “Lord you are holy indeed…” has been legitimately replaced with Eucharistic prayer number 4, which uses a different narrative to trace salvation history to the Eucharistic confection.

Once again, lex orandi, lex credendi…does not preclude variety and options, but rather calls celebrant and the people to an active appreciation of the Liturgy, past and present.

Often it is noticed that people seem confused and caught off guard when the celebrant offers various options to our liturgical expression. Perhaps they do not know the responses, do not recognize the language or just do not know that a different form is capable of being used by the celebrant. Excellent opportunity for education in liturgy, church history and sacramental theology. Our expressions of faith not only recall unchanging sacramental truths, but also reflect the active living Church, which offers its message of salvation through changing manners and forms throughout the ages.

The next time you hear the celebrant intoning, Agnus Dei…in place of Lamb of God, recall that our faith is a rich inheritance of traditions and expressions of prayer. Embrace the linguistic and cultural heritage of our Catholic Church, learn how to sing along in various languages, and perhaps Lex Orandi, lex credendi will no longer seem like a frenzied St.Prosper of Aquitaine running across the Pont du Gard in an anti-Pelagian seizure, but another appreciation of our faith’s vast history and traditions.



Copyright 2010 Hugh McNichol

By including these consecrated individuals in our daily prayers and interceding on their behalf, we obtain many of God’s graces for them…and hopefully, a few for ourselves and those we love.

In addition to the children’s liturgy, members of our parish organized a great program for the children. A small group of kids from the ages of five to twelve eagerly joined The Rosary Club. One of the many purposes of the club is to engage the children in activities based on our Catholic principles and also to teach them to reflect on the mysteries and lead them in learning to pray the rosary.

Over time, the kids have assembled their very own oversized rosary; put on a play depicting the Joyous Mysteries; made St. Therese sacrifice beads and enjoyed countless other activities.

Among the several events and fundraisers running throughout the year, the group organizers decided in observance of the year’s theme, it would be great for the kids to get more familiar with the long and demanding road a man must take as he journeys to become a priest.

Creativity and appeal were key ingredients for this project with a bunch of kids under twelve and they came up with a wonderful way to introduce the kids to the life of a seminarian.

The group leaders received permission for access to our diocese seminarians and collected information to create easy to read and understandable profiles about them for the kids. They were even able to provide a photo of them.

The kids were gathered around the table and told they had an important mission to carry out for Jesus. It was explained to them that they were going to write a very special letter to young men who were studying to be priests. They were shown the various profiles and instructed to each choose one.

The children spent the afternoon writing and decorating letters and cards to their new spiritually adopted consecrated brothers. There were no formal guidelines as to what they should write; no corrections to spelling. Even the youngest, with the most basic of printing proficiency had free reign over what their message was. Included along with each welcoming salutation and unique introduction, every single one of them wrote that they now had a new friend who they would include in their prayers.

As I watched the smiling, enthusiastic faces light up at how much fun they were having and heard the squealing at each other’s ideas and encouragement of one another, I was struck by the innocence and purity of the moment. Children truly are of the kingdom of God.

I imagined the smile on the faces of those young men; the joy they must have felt in their hearts upon opening up the cards and letters and discovering they were from children.  How touched they must be to know, there are so many angels praying for them.

I hope it comforts them and strengthens their determination on really tough days. The road to being a priest is long and intense and often, it can be a lonely stretch out there on the highway of secularism. We are all driving it but they often times don’t get asked to carpool with the rest of the crowd.

That group of young seminarians now has these little earthly angels on their side, praying for them. Their prayers have a most wonderful privilege. Their prayers soar on wings straight to heaven, through the gates of eternity and are whispered directly into the loving heart of God.

Even if you should have countless guides to Christ, yet you do not have many fathers.               1Corinthians 4:15

Copyright 2010 Manuela Giannotti

Harnessing that energy at my age would be remarkable. But would I really want to go back and do it all again? I used to think I wanted to. I longed for a life do-over. To be able to go back with the knowledge that I have now. As youth diminishes, wisdom increases. That’s not a coincidence. And with the wisdom I have been accumulating of late I am sure I don’t want to go back. I don’t want to start over. I’m smarter than I was. A lot smarter. I can step back from situations and not get broiled into circumstances that don’t concern me. I can walk away in my mind – just disassociate. It’s a pretty neat trick actually.

I wouldn’t want to be a young adult these days. And I have four such creatures living under my roof! Lately though I truly have been able to step back to give my sons the needed space to succeed or fail. And I understand why I am able to do that: because I have a life of my own separate from theirs. I’m not “Mommy.” I’m Mom. I’m Maureen. I’m me without four little ones hanging on.

I like it. I’ve written about the niche I’ve carved for myself – my home within my home – my Happy Place upstairs away from the video game fighting and juvenile banter. Maybe this would have occurred earlier had I had girls. I’ve missed that side of life. But I’m not crying over spilled milk; I’m happy for what I am discovering these days.

Every week I buy myself a new bouquet of flowers and choose a vase from my extensive and dusty collection which for years has lain dormant 99.999% of the time. And I put those flowers right in front of me on my desk. They are mine. I’m big into mine right now. I really am. Maybe that sounds selfish, but that’s how I feel. For how many years had my primary concern been my children? 25. That’s right, 25.

Yesterday is a prime example of extracting some time for myself. My day had revolved around my mom and the pre-testing she needed done at the hospital. Returning home my sister-in-law and I noticed my dad’s dilemma. He had had something frozen off his forehead two days earlier. His eyes were red and swollen and he looked miserable. We got him squared away and we left, she to her house and me to mine. But mine is 45 minutes away on a sunny day.

We were just beginning to get the forecasted foot of snow. The temperature hovered right at 32 degrees. All that water on the road was about to turn to ice; it was just a matter of when. “When” happened to be at the exact time I was driving…crawling…toward home. I am not a wimp in the snow. I’ve lived in the Midwest my whole life. I have four-wheel drive. Nothing seemed to matter, except for the fact that I was smart enough to know I had to go 30 MPH if I wanted to get my Jeep and me home in one piece. Oh what a hideous drive! But I arrived safe and sound. Had to spend some time with my hubby even though all I wanted to do was climb to the solitude of my Happy Place.

At 8:30 I finally came up here and I must have subconsciously breathed a huge sigh of relief. I could finally do what I wanted to do, and that was write. I have a column due tomorrow. After about half an hour my son came home with his girlfriend. I went downstairs. I said hi. And I ran right back up for hours. I’m sure hubby thought me crazy and possibly rude. Too bad. Would I have wanted my parents hanging around my boyfriend and me when I was 24? I don’t think so!

I wrote and wrote and wrote. And writing makes me happy. I wish you the courage, because sometimes that’s what it takes, to do something that makes you happy today. The heck with everybody else. Make the time…for you.

Copyright 2010 Maureen Locher

To begin reading Sweet Dreams chapter by chapter click here.

Cakes by Design’s Most Popular Recipes

Bailey’s Irish Cream Cake

Cake:

4 oz unsweetened chocolate

½ cup light brown sugar

1 cup butter, softened

6 Tablespoon and ¼ cup Bailey’s Irish Crème

3 eggs

2 cups all purpose flour

1 teaspoon. baking powder

¼ teaspoon salt

2/3 buttermilk

Preheat oven 350

Grease and flour two nine inch cake pans. Set aside.

In small pan, over low heat, add chocolate, Bailey’s Irish Crème and brown sugar. Stir often until chocolate is melted and mixture smooth. Do not allow mixture to boil. With mixer, blend butter and sugar. Add eggs one at a time. Mix until light and airy. In another bowl, measure out dry ingredients. Sift. Alternately, add the dry ingredients and milk to the egg mixture. Add the slightly cooled chocolate mixture. (Too hot and it will fry the eggs.) Mix until combined. Pour into prepared pans.

Remove from oven. Let cool ten minutes. Brush with ¼ cup of Baileys.

Icing:

1/4 cup whipping cream

3 T. Bailey’s Irish Crème

1/3 cup butter softened

1 ½ Tablespoon Lindt cocoa powder

2 cups of Confectioner’s sugar

Chocolate and White Chocolate Lindt chocolate bars grated.

Blend butter and Bailey’s Irish Crème. Slowly add cocoa powder. Add confectioner’s sugar, then slowly add cream—just enough to make it spreading consistency.

Ice cake.  Take grated chocolate and ‘push’ it evenly along the lower portion of the cake. Pipe trim around top later. Fill in the center with the rest of the grated chocolate.

Emma’s Coffeecake

Cake:

2 ½ cups of all purpose flour

2 ½ teaspoons baking powder

½ teaspoon salt

2/3 cup butter

1 ¾ cups sugar

1 ½ teaspoon vanilla

2 eggs

1 ¼  cups milk

Preheat oven 375 degrees

Grease and flour sheet cake pan.

With mixer, beat butter until smooth. Add sugar and beat until smooth. Slowly add eggs one at a time. In separate bowl, measure out flour, baking powder, and salt. Add to mixture, alternating dry ingredients with milk. Add vanilla. Mix.

Pour into prepared pan. Bake 15 minutes. Remove and crumble topping over top.

Topping:

2 Sticks of melted butter

2 cups flour

1 cup sugar

2 teaspoons cinnamon

Confectioner’s sugar for coating.

Mix together and place in refrigerator for 15 minutes. Remove. Take a fork and crumble the mixture.  Top cake.

Return cake to the over for 5 more minutes. Cool on wire rack. Sprinkle with confectioner’s sugar. Cut into large squares.

Father Joe’s Favorite Hot Cross Buns

Buns:

4 to 4 ½ cups all purpose flour

1 package active dry yeast

¾ teaspoon cinnamon

¼ teaspoon nutmeg

Dash ground cloves

¾ cup milk

½ cup butter

1/3 cup sugar

3 eggs

2/3 cup raisins

1 beaten egg white

Preheat oven 375 degrees

Combine the following into bowl: – 2 cups flour, yeast, cinnamon, nutmeg and cloves. In a pan heat milk, butter, sugar and ½ teaspoon salt until reaches 120-140 degrees and butter melts. Add milk mixture to dry ingredients. Using a paddle attachment, add eggs one at a time. Mixing after each addition. Beat on high for 3 minutes. Stir in raisins and remaining flour.

Turn out onto a floured surface. Knead until soft, dough. About 5 minutes. Shape into ball. Place in greased bowl. Turn once. Cover. Let rise in warm place for 1 ½ hours.

Punch down dough. Turn onto floured surface. Cover. Let rest 10 minutes. Divide dough into 20 portions. Shape into smooth balls. Place balls 1 ½ inches part on greased baking sheet. Cover and let rise until double. 45-60 minutes.

Using a sharp knife, make a crisscross hatch on the top of each ball. In small bowl combine beaten egg white and 1 Tablespoon of water. Brush egg mixture over rolls.

Bake 12 to 15 minutes or until golden brown. Cool slightly on wire rack. Place a piece of waxed paper under the rack. Drizzle icing on top. Let harden.

Icing:

1 cup sifted confectioner’s sugar

¼ teaspoon vanilla

1 Tablespoon milk or cream

Combine all ingredients. Beat for 2 minutes with electric beater. Adding more or less sugar for desired consistency.

For more wonderful inspirational fiction by Katherine Valentine visit her website or Amazon’s selection of Katherine Valentine novels.

My sons are young (nearly nine and seven), but are growing up quickly. These are their prime formative years. They are like little sponges, absorbing everything they are exposed to. They are very concerned with what is good and bad, and what is “medium” – their term for something moral-neutral. They both have made their 1st confessions and now attend that sacrament on a regular basis. They are concerned about sin and doing what is right. I never thought that I would be called upon to make a moral determination about almost every action they make throughout the course of a day. Some days, it is truly exhausting. Yet, I realize the importance of it. If they are going to have a well-formed conscience, it is up to me to help make it that way.

One of my friends commented recently that the only thing she got from attending Catholic school was a conscience. I told her that wasn’t a bad thing to get. Yes, sometimes having a highly-formed conscience can seem like a burden. Wouldn’t doing what we want without those feelings of guilt make life so much easier? It seems like that is how most of the world operates. Aren’t they the ones who are truly free, the ones who get to enjoy life? No, it only seems that way. It is evil’s illusion.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church states that “The education of the conscience is a lifelong task. From the earliest years, it awakens the child to the knowledge and practice of the interior law recognized by conscience. Prudent education teaches virtue; it prevents or cures fear, selfishness and pride, resentment arising from guilt, and feelings of complacency, born of human weakness and faults. The education of the conscience guarantees freedom and engenders peace of heart.” (CCC 1784) We will be happier in the long run if we both learn and do what is right. The choices aren’t always easy. The guilt when we act in error can be huge and long-lasting. Yet, it is much better than the alternative – living without a moral compass.

How, then, is a good conscience formed? Divine law must always be the first consideration. What do the Ten Commandments dictate? They are our guidelines for living in right relationship with God and neighbor. Sometimes there are situations where the decisions are not easy, but a person “must always seriously seek what is right and good and discern the will of God expressed in divine law.” (CCC 1787) One may need to seek the “advice of competent people, and the help of the Holy Spirit and his gifts.” (CCC 1788) The Catechism also offers three rules that must be followed in all cases: “One may never do evil so that good may result from it; the Golden Rule: ‘Whatever you wish that men would do to you, do so to them;’ and ‘charity always proceeds by way of respect for one’s neighbor and his conscience.’” (CCC 1789)

Forming conscience is a long-term project. My children will not know what to do in every case by the age of ten, or fifteen, or even twenty. Yet, I must do my best to give them the tools to make the best decisions they can in light of God’s direction. It is the same thing I strive to do in my own life (while acknowledging that I sometimes fail). It is an awesome task, but one that every Catholic parent must take on.

Copyright 2010 Patrice Fagnant-MacArthur

“You are already Catholic,” snarled my 13-year-old daughter.

This little girl, my fourth and final baby, was so prideful and her words demonstrated such intention. This was my first-grader’s “aha” moment.

And the child grew, and waxed strong in spirit, filled with wisdom: and the grace of God was upon him. Luke 2:40

That morning on the Church steps, I saw grace in my daughter’s green eyes. As she opened the Church door and skipped to the Holy Water font, I recognized that grace…the special twinkle in a child’s demeanor that makes all the whining, tantrums and grocery store heists of orange Tic-Tacs melt from the mommy memory.

My daughter woke up Catholic that day. Each morning, after several cycles of the snooze alarm and the whirring (and intoxicating) melody of the coffee pot, do I wake up Catholic? I’m afraid I do not.

Sure, my religious trademark is Catholic, but on most mornings when I wake up, I’m not thinking about how to be present and prayerful. My first order of business is to win the battle of morning mayhem with four children… the sandwich making, the manic permission slip signing and the spelunking for that matching navy blue knee sock. There really is no time to breathe in and broadcast my intentions, like my daughter did so effortlessly last month.

Do you wake up Catholic? It can’t be found in the coffee beans or inside a cereal box. It’s present in the nanoseconds of your crazed day and don’t worry…if you recognize that moment, please know you’re not dreaming.

Copyright 2010 Colleen McNatt

What are you personally searching for at this moment in your life?  Are you searching for a quiet place to escape the noise of your toddler beating on his pots and pans?  Are you searching for peace of mind that allows you a chance to breathe in and exhale slowly?  Are you searching for that magic cure to make discipline for your 6 year old truly work?  Are you searching for the perfect job where you can balance family and work?  Are you searching for your soul mate a person who will love you unconditionally and spend your life with?  Are you searching for comfort through financial stability?  Are you searching for an understanding of your very existence?  Are you searching and you have no idea what for?

We are all searching constantly. The search is what helps us to grow and discover ourselves more deeply.  Sometimes throughout the search we find dead ends that we thought would lead to happiness.  When we reached that final destination like the perfect job and realized it did not complete us.  When we found the perfect spouse and felt 80% full but there was still more to find.  When we finally reached that financial stability and realized that things didn’t feel our deepest needs. When our children starting to listen to us and we still felt a bit empty.

We as humans search within our realm of reasoning.  Nothing will fill us all the way up except for the love of God; not the perfect job, not the perfect love of our life, not the excellent children, and all the money in the world cannot touch what we are truly searching for. We are searching for; acceptance, unconditional love, a reason to live, a purpose in this life and how to live our lives.  The search should be embraced.  If we were handed these answers we would not appreciate or understand them.  Each time we search we find a piece of God in our spouse, in our children, in our co-workers in our lives.  One thing will never make you complete.  It is the culmination of the search the truth you seek you will find in the eyes of God.  The desire of your heart will be complete when you one day merge into eternal existence with God. Here on earth in our everyday lives we will continue to search and we will find God and happiness and goodness if we seek it out.

So keep on searching but instead of looking only at the goal take wisdom from the people, the feelings and the knowledge you learn along the way. For one day the search will be over.



Copyright 2010 Lori Hadorn Disselkamp

If you’re single, or have a family member or friend who may be leading a single lifestyle, please share this article with them and refer them to CatholicMatch.com for additional resources.

“Valentine’s Day. It comes every year whether you like it or not.
It’s the day when your love life is put on display.”

So begins the official trailer for the newest film hitting the big screen this month.

While I have not seen the movie Valentine’s Day, the previews indicate the theme is probably as cliché as the topic. Many single people find the February 14th holiday disheartening, confusing, downright depressing, and in general “just blah” as one of my single friends aptly described it. Sometimes it feels like the only reason for the “hearts and flowers” holiday (besides the economic boost our society generates from the sale of overpriced cards, boxed chocolates, and red roses) is for the world to take notice of the fact that all the single folks aren’t romantically attached. What’s not to love about that, right?

As a single person, I felt very much the same about Valentine’s Day as the feelings I described above. Thus it surprised me how much my perspective has changed since meeting and marrying my husband, and observing the Valentine’s Day drama from the perspective of a married person. It has been somewhat startling to learn that single folks aren’t the only people who don’t get such a kick out of Romance Day.

I just got an email from a young married couple whom my husband and I were supposed to have a couple’s night out with this week. The other couple had to cancel due to their three-year-old son going through a tantrum stage and crying incessantly every night, the husband breaking his leg at work and needing down time, and the 11-month-old coming down with a high fever. Needless to say, this young couple has a lot more important topics on their plate than making arrangements for the perfect romantic Valentine’s evening out.

Then I talked to my sister-in-law, curious what her holiday plans would include. She and her husband are the homeschooling parents of five children. “One of the highlights of the day is Eric promised me he’d keep the kids quiet downstairs so I could take a nice long shower and take my time getting ready upstairs. That rarely happens without kiddie interruption and it’s such a gift!” she told me with a laugh.

My own sister has two children under age two. She said the best gift of love is when her husband watches the babies while she goes out for a 3-mile jog around the neighborhood all by herself. Her husband is happy with a bag of his favorite bite-sized chocolate bars wrapped in pink and red foil…“and we’ll get a babysitter so we can slip out for a quick dinner too.”

Reflecting on these and many other examples of how married friends spend Valentine’s Day (especially those with children), has made me realize that the people who make the biggest deal about Valentine’s Day usually aren’t married couples – which is ironic since they’re the ones most in love and with the most excuses to pull out all the romantic stops on February 14th.

While this struck me as odd and kind of disappointing at first (after all, as a single person I thought the grass was MUCH greener – well, redder and pinker and more chocolate and roses-filled — on the married side of Valentine’s Day), upon further reflection I’ve realized that these self-giving examples of married love are the type that most resemble the original Valentine of February 14th.

Who was Saint Valentine Anyway?

The simple answer: we don’t know a whole lot about him. The biography on Catholic Online mentions he was a priest in Rome, who cared for the martyr Christians under the persecution of Claudius II. When his ministry to Christians was discovered, he was arrested, badly beaten, and eventually beheaded, on February 14th in the late 3rd century.

The Catholic Encyclopedia lists at least three Saint Valentines. Interestingly, all three of them, died martyrs’ deaths. How the Saint Valentine who died on February 14th became the patron of love, affianced couples, and happy marriages, is shrouded in legend and mystery. And yet this martyr saint is frequently depicted with lovebirds, roses, and flowers surrounding him – as early as the late fifth century.

Love as Sacrifice

If you think about it, the fact that the real Saint Valentine was a martyr priest in the early years of Christianity is incredibly profound for single and married people alike, struggling to make sense out of Valentine’s Day.

How appropriate that the calendar day when love is most celebrated is focused, in a Catholic sense, on the true meaning of love – the radical kind – the kind that is so profoundly self-giving that it’s willing to lay itself down out of love for another.

St. Valentine exemplified the type of love that matters most. Not friendship love. Not familial love. Not even Eros love. Instead, it’s the love that mirrors the divine in its total outpouring for another. Agape love.

For some, this overflowing love looks like 5:00am feedings of your newborn baby. For others, it’s getting up for work when the alarm goes off the first time. Perhaps it’s working a second shift to help pay the extra family bills. For many couples, it’s rejoicing in the little pleasures of life, like a bouquet of roses or a box of chocolates that says “I Love You” while your kids run around the two of you in their sugar-rush from just finishing off said box of chocolates that was “yours.”

Single people and dating couples are not going to find this kind of radical love spelled out on a card in the Valentine’s aisle of your local Walgreen’s or Target. It’s not found in a night at the movies or a romantic steak dinner for two. You may find witnesses of it in your parish priest, in the lives of married couples you know, perhaps in your own parents, and certainly in the Catholic saint whose martyrdom is memorialized on February 14th.

Celebrate Valentine’s Day the Real Way

There’s no easy antidote to the Valentine’s Day blues if you are a single person – especially one who longs for the love of another. I cannot offer a solution to the prick in your heart as you pass by your local flower shop, a red and pink card aisle, a Godiva chocolate store, or Kay’s Jewelers, and witness the general hoopla. It’s a cross each single person must carry.

And yet, there might be something you can do to discipline your focus this month. Instead of allowing yourself to dwell on the Valentine’s commotion around you, perhaps make a commitment to do something for one person on February 14th that is putting selfless love into practice. Perhaps it’s babysitting so a married couple can steal away for an hour or two of precious alone time. Maybe it’s bringing a heart-shaped box of chocolates to an elderly person at Church on Sunday. Possibly you’ll invite a bunch of other single people over for a fun night of movie watching or game playing.

Going to see the new Valentine’s Day movie might give you a few laughs and perhaps a sense of commiseration with other singles who don’t appreciate February 14th. But if you choose instead to do something selfless for someone else, you will have prepared well for the authentic love your heart so deeply and ultimately desires.

Sacred Heart of Jesus, kindle the fire of your divine love within our hearts!

Saint Valentine, patron of love, young people, and happy marriages, pray for us and our future spouses!

Stephanie can be reached at stephanie@catholicmatch.com

Just because it is cold outside doesn’t make it open season for an excuse not to exercise. There are multiple exercise options one can choose to participate in regardless of what the outdoor thermometer reads. Depending on your location and likes, you can choose to workout inside or
outside.

All that is required for Winter-time workouts is some planning and employing all safety precautions. If you prefer to workout outside, keep the following tips in mind.

• Get warm first. A proper warm-up is critical. Cold temperatures can make your muscles tight and therefore they are more prone to injuries. So, it’s important to get them warmed-up prior to engaging in intense physical activity.
• Insulate your body. The best approach to dressing for outdoor exercise is with layers. Layering provides the most effective heating method, plus it allows you to remove the top layer if you get too hot. The layer closest to your skin should allow moisture to be wicked away. The top layer should be both wind and water resistant.
• No sweat. Don’t assume that you have to sweat in order to get a good workout. You should avoid sweating that causes the clothing layer closest to your skin to get wet and cause you to be chilled. Instead monitor your intensity through a heart rate monitor or the Rating of Perceived Exertion.
• Don’t strip when you get inside. While you may be tempted to immediately remove your layers when returning inside, give your body time to adjust. Post exercise hypothermia is possible. This happens when your body rapidly loses its heating stores.
• Drink up. It’s just as important to stay hydrated when exercising in winter as it is in summer, even though you might not feel as thirsty.
• Lighten up. If possible, it’s best to exercise outdoors during daylight areas. But, with shorten days that can be difficult to do. If you exercise outdoors when it is dark, wear reflective materials to ensure that you can be seen.

If the thought of getting outside to exercise makes you dive under the covers, instead choose one of the many indoor workout options. Below are just a few of the many choices.

• Walk at an indoor location, like a mall. If you need extra motivation to get yourself to the mall, join a walking group. This will help you stay accountable to someone other than yourself.
• Join a health club. This will allow you a large variety of physical activities to choose from every week.
• Create a home gym. This doesn’t have to be expensive. You can easily set-up a great workout routine with just a set of dumbbells, an exercise ball and a jump rope. Get all of this for around $50.
• If you have stairs where you live or close by, spend as little as 20 minutes at a time climbing up and down the stairs for a very intense and efficient workout.
• Get wet. Find a local indoor pool you can use. Try swimming, water aerobics, or even just walking or running laps in the water.
• Visit a library. Usually local libraries offer exercise videos you can check-out for free. Pick-up a new one to try out every time you return the previous video.

By staying fit during winter you’ll be able to avoid gaining weight, have a head start on swimsuit season, and avoid losing strength and stamina caused from inactivity. Just as tulips need winter nourishment from the Earth to strongly bloom in spring, humans need to continue to nourish their bodies during winter so they too can bloom come spring.



Copyright 2010 Lynn Bode

During the course of this great evening, we had the opportunity to hear Jackie Kelley sing her new song “Stronger”.  I was able to find this video of Jackie online, and I’m so happy to share it with you.  There is something about the words to this song that truly captures what’s in my heart these days.  God has blessed my life so abundantly, and I wake up every day wanting to do more for those around me as a sign of my love for Him.

Lord I want you to know that I am grateful in every way
that’s why the longing in my heart keeps getting stronger every day
through every trial and experience
my love for you is serious
since you have shown me the way…
Stronger by Jackie Kelley

p.s. That dessert up there was up for auction – we weren’t the winning bidders, but I walked away from this night feeling like a true winner for having had such a great date with my husband.

Video Link

We promoters and teachers of NFP use a lot of breath and ink letting everyone who comes near us know that.

It’s 99% effective!
It’s moral, it’s safe, it’s healthy, it’s inexpensive!
It strengthens marriages!
Yipee!

But a few recent conversations – both online and ‘in the flesh’ – have made me wonder if perhaps we sometimes give the wrong impression about what couples using NFP to postpone or avoid pregnancy can expect to experience.

“By it’s very nature the institution of marriage and married love is ordered to the procreation and education of the offspring and it is in them it finds its crowing glory” (Catechism of the Catholic Church 1652).

God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit exist from all eternity in loving communion with each other.  Each and every one of was created us not because God is somehow lacking without us – for God lacks nothing – but because the infinite love of the Trinity desires to create others, many others, made in His image and likeness, with whom He can share that love for eternity.  Marriage, and in particular the marital embrace, is the way in which human beings most closely image this fruitful, creative love of the Trinity and so the logical outgrowth of authentic marital love is the desire for that love to bear fruit in the form of children who can then participate in the loving communion of persons that is a family.

So, by design and definition Christian marriage is supposed to result in children and, in the beginning, God’s plan was for every marriage to result in many children who would go on to have many children themselves and the communion of saints in heaven would become ever larger.

Because of original sin, however, we do not experience marital love – or any of life – as it was intended by God in the beginning and many couples find that at some point in their marriage they have serious reasons – physical, material, psychological or social – why they should not conceive another child. These couples do what is right by cooperating with God’s plan for them and using NFP to avoid pregnancy.  However, in a perfect world – a world without sin- pregnancy and childbirth would never be difficult or dangerous, there would be no poverty or material lack, there would be no friction or division or ‘issues’ between husbands and wives or between parents and their children. In short, there would never be a good reason to avoid pregnancy, so NFP would be totally unnecessary.

Obviously this is not a perfect world and sometimes NFP is necessary, but it’s OK to be a little unhappy about that.  Using NFP to avoid pregnancy can be a joyful experience in that it is a way in which we cooperate with God’s will for us, but disappointment that the sacrifice required by NFP is necessary is not evidence of weak faith or lack of trust in God or contempt for the teachings of the Church or anything of the sort.  Usually is it simply the (often subconscious) realization that we live in a fallen, sinful world and that the sacrifice and suffering result from that were not a part of God’s original plan for humanity.  When we are saddened or frustrated that NFP is necessary, what we are really experiencing is sadness and frustration over one of the effects of sin.

The other concern about NFP I have been hearing recently seems to have to do with a misunderstanding about how the use of NFP leads to stronger, healthier, happier marriages.   We live an extremely pleasure oriented society and tend to think of things that are pleasurable as good and things that are difficult or painful as bad.  As we meet and date and get to know our future spouses most of what we do is pleasurable and without a doubt much of healthy married love is wonderful and satisfying and very enjoyable.  So, again, we tend to think that even in marriage the things we enjoy together are good for the relationship and the things we don’t, aren’t.

Using NFP to avoid pregnancy requires significant sacrifice and self-discipline and these things are not, in and of themselves, pleasurable.  They are, however, absolutely necessary for a lasting, happy marriage.  The willingness to delay gratification for the good of one’s spouse or children is one of the most powerful demonstrations of love and fidelity that there is and even though it is not particularly fun, makes us better people, better spouses and more trusting of each other.  When I see that my husband is willing to deny himself something that he wants for the sake of my health (physical or emotional), the good of our children or whatever the reason for avoiding pregnancy may be I see powerful evidence of his love and commitment.  And he sees the same in my willingness to do the same.  I may say that I love my husband, but unless I am willing to actually love him, our relationship is going nowhere fast.  Christ told us that “no one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13) and the self-denial required by NFP is unquestionably an act of dying-to-self.

In addition, the sacrifice required to use NFP to avoid pregnancy is a mutual sacrifice and one that couples discuss again and again – ideally asking themselves and each other each cycle, ‘Do we still have a good reason to avoid conceiving?’  This kind of communication and shared responsibility simply doesn’t happen when a couple uses contraception and the tendency to drift apart and lose track of what the other person is thinking, feeling and hoping for is much greater without the monthly period of abstinence to remind them to reconnect and reevaluate.  Communication and connection still do not happen automatically and even couples using NFP must make the effort to sit down and talk about why they are abstaining, but abstinence itself is usually an excellent incentive to do this.  And even if a couple are not completely in agreement about whether they truly have serious reasons to avoid pregnancy, at least that is known, the issue is revisited frequently and they each have an additional opportunity to die-to-self for the sake of the other.

Are these discussions and ‘chart crunching’ sessions as much fun as participating in the marital embrace?  Nope.  Do they contribute to the overall strength and happiness of the marriage?  Absolutely!  Marital love endures (and grows) in good times and in bad.

In the gospel reading for the first Sunday of this month Christ tells us that “whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me, cannot be my disciple” (Luke 14:27) and for couples with serious reasons to avoid pregnancy NFP is the cross – in its power to liberate and sanctify and save, but also in its struggle and sacrifice and it is not, at least this side of heaven, only sweetness and light.

Copyright 2010 Sara Fox Peterson

Find more great family recipes and meal planning assistance at Dine Without Whine

Honey Ribs and Rice
Makes 4 servings

2 pounds pork baby back ribs, extra lean
1 can condensed beef consommé
1/2 cup water
2 tablespoons maple syrup
2 tablespoons honey
3 tablespoons soy sauce
2 tablespoons barbecue sauce
1/2 teaspoon dry mustard
1 1/2 cups quick cooking brown rice

1. If ribs are fat, place on broiler rack and broil for 15 to 20 minutes; drain well. Otherwise, wash ribs and pat dry. Cut ribs into single servings.

2. Combine remaining ingredients, except rice in crockpot; stir to mix.  Add ribs. Cover and cook on LOW for 6 to 8 hours, or HIGH for 3 to 4 hours. Remove ribs and keep warm. Turn crockpot to HIGH setting; add 1-1/2 cups quick cooking rice and cook until done.

3. Serve rice on warm platter surrounded by ribs.

Baked Apple Crisp
Makes 4 servings

1 20-ounce can apple pie filling
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
3/4 teaspoon cinnamon ground
8 Dessert Crepes
Caramel Sauce
1/2 cup walnuts broken

Up to 2 hours before serving:

1. Grease two 8 x 8 x 2-inch baking pans or four individual shallow ovenproof dishes with butter or margarine; set aside.

2. In a medium bowl, stir apple pie filling, vanilla and cinnamon until well blended. Place about 1/4 cup of the filling in the center of each crepe. Fold two opposite edges of crepe over center and place seam-side up in pans. Cover tightly with foil.

About 20 minutes before serving:

3. Bake in a preheated 400° oven for 15 minutes. Remove foil from crepes. Coat crepes with warm sauce and sprinkle with nuts. Bake, uncovered, 5 minutes longer or until glossy and golden brown. Serve warm. Refrigerate leftovers.

Find more great family recipes and meal planning assistance at Dine Without Whine

Since we love giving things away, and since we love great books for kids, this month we are offering you a chance to win some wonderful books from Bezaelel Books, a fantastic Catholic publishing house. Five winners will be chosen for the contest, each one receiving one of the following books:

Hiding the Stranger in Hickory Valley – Joan L. Kelly, author of “My Big Feet” and “Lonny the Lizard finds a Treasure,” delivers another winning book! The adventure begins when a young farm girl, Katie, finds an unconscious teenager in a meadow. When she and her siblings try to help him discover answers, they find themselves involved in intrigue and possible danger. Who is this mysterious stranger who suddenly shows up on a small Illinois farm? Where did he come from? Where is he going? This first book in the trilogy takes the reader on an adventure filled quest!

My Big Feet - Rob Sanderson and his friends knew that they weren’t part of the ‘popular’ kids, but that didn’t stop them from accepting each other and facing life’s challenges. Even when those challenges involved intrigue and espionage! Kids and grown ups, too, will love reading about this group of misfits as they combine forces to find a way to outwit dangerous spies and save their new classmate and her family. (Ages 9-12)

Sweet Tweets – “Sweet Tweets,” by Trudy Schubert, was inspired by Trudy’s love of children’s books and her desire to help the Lakeland School of Walworth County, an institution dedicated to helping children with autism. Drawing upon her own background as children’s librarian and storyteller at Williams Bay Library and as a preschool teacher, Trudy has combined her great wit and fun-loving personality to bring Chicken Chineka, Lambkins, and the Easter Bunny to life in a beautifully illustrated tale of the value of team effort and gratitude. Sure to delight young and old alike; all proceeds of “Sweet Tweets” go to the Lakeland School of Walworth County.

Isabel’s Sister - “Isabel’s Sister” is a beautiful story of life and promise in the Resurrection. Once again, author Harriet (Kety) Sabatini captures the beauty of faith in this, her second book. For everyone who loved “Joseph’s Hands,” this book is sure to please. For those not yet familiar with Harriet’s prose, or Marie’s magnificent art work, “Isabel’s Sister” will be a newfound treasure in books that every Christian child should have!

All Things Girl: Truth for Teens – Latest book by best-selling Catholic authors Teresa Tomeo, Molly Miller and Monica Cops is now available in paperback… Do you want your teen daughter to know the true (and detrimental) precepts of the feminist movement or the real 9-1-1 on birth control and sexual freedom? Are you looking for a book that reveals Catholic truths and develops Catholic virtues in an honest and open way? All Things Girl: Truth for Teens is a 240 page book written with the same frank and realistic voice as found in the ATG book series. Chapters include: You Are Here for a Reason Relationships Learning from All of God’s Creatures Influences from the Feminist Movement Be Mindful of the Media Messages Fashion Skin, Makeup and Hair Financial Responsibility How Does Your Garden Grow? Every Life Is a Vocation Virtues to Live by A Plan for Life All Things Girl: Truth for Teens Journal is the perfect accompaniment to the book and encourages girls to track their prayer life and contemplate the messages of the book in a personal and private way. “All Things Girl: Truth for Teens” seeks to help Catholic teens live and learn their Catholic faith with joy and diligence. This winner will also receive the All Things Girl: Truth for Teens Journal.

To enter to win this contest, you must leave a comment on this post with a valid email address (which won’t be published or shared) before Midnight PST on February 19, 2010.  I’ll draw three random winners and announce the winners when the contest has ended.

It’s not that I don’t like surprises, as long as they come when I’ve planned for them (like at Christmas).  It’s not that I don’t like to be spontaneous, as long as I have allocated the time for it.

My husband is considerably less rigid than I am in his awareness of time.  Though I’ve argued for years that this makes us late, he maintains that there’s no reason to be somewhere earlier than on-time.

Add to this gentle misunderstanding a couple of kids, and it’s safe to say that, some days, I want to crawl under my desk, curl in a fetal position with a blankie, and suck my thumb until the chaos settles down into order.

Motherhood has done a great deal to make me more flexible, that’s for sure.  Where I used to balk at sudden trips to the store or unplanned meetings with friends, I now barely even protest.  I’ve learned to walk in late with a smile and to share my failures with a laugh.

My inspiration for this change of heart has been the Blessed Virgin Mary.

I’m sure she wasn’t as psycho-organized as I’d like to be, but imagine what disruption Gabriel brought to her life.  She didn’t ask for specifics (aside from wondering out loud how it could happen), she embraced the opportunity.  Rather than complain (as I would) about how much this little development messed up her plans and, really, her life, she offered herself even more.

She had quite a few unexpected challenges in her motherhood – the trip to Bethlehem, nine months pregnant; the flight to Egypt, not on a cozy plane but huddled on a donkey; the slow, painful walk to Golgotha as her Son carried the Cross.

Maybe Mary was a naturally organized person.  Maybe she found the pinpricks of spontaneity so common in motherhood to be a burden.  Maybe she just longed to have an orderly day.  Whether she did or not, Mary is certainly an inspiration for those of us who are still very much students in the flexibility department.

This week, when I find myself resisting the things that just crop up, I’m going to turn to Mary, grab her hand, and let her walk with me.

Copyright 2010 Sarah Reinhard

The policy was initiated by former President Clinton as a non-resolution to the growing concerns of homosexuality within our military services. Clinton’s evasive policy of being mute on the subject not only ignores any option regarding the issue other than military silence gives consent. The issue of sexuality, any sexuality, homosexual or heterosexual deserves a cognitive understanding of our American traditions of Judeo-Christian observations in our society.

While the lifestyle of homosexuality is increasingly more visible in our culture, it’s proliferation in American life demands an objective viewpoint that once again focuses on the institution of marriage and family, that is firmly established in Christian and Judaic norms. The matter is so strongly debated that there have been attempts to include permission of homosexual marriages and unions into the American Constitution. Once again, any argument of Constitutional modification that permits anything other than a heterosexual union is a misinterpretation of our most fundamental norms of morality and ethics as taught in the Torah and the New Testament.

The real matter of concern that everyone should consider is the fundamental concept of chastity among all sexes in our society, and the procreative act of sex as essential for procreation and development of mutual love between male and female married couples. Seemingly, the disintegration of the family unit in our society is related to the incidents of extramarital sexual relationships contributing to the increased awareness of heterosexual and homosexual lifestyles. The Judeo tradition encapsulates the normative behavior of sexuality in the Ten Commandments, which simply codify the matter, “You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife.” The fact that Mosaic norms ignore and don’t even mention the coveting of members of the same sex, illustrate both the importance of familial development and the presumption that sexual activity among faithful Jews was heterosexual.

The decreasing sentiments of sexual morality of our 21st century seem to more openly provide for the mutual existence of homosexual and heterosexual unions in all aspects of society. However, the topic never seems to include a discussion of homosexuality as the antithetical activity of procreation and family values. In the Christian tradition, the sexual union is directed towards the development of mutual love between the male and female couple, and the openness to the procreation of children as the tangible result of that sexual union. Sexual activity outside of the heterosexual context of these two points creates not only a corruption of the intrinsic sanctity of the procreative act, but sets an opposition in sexual norms that is diametrically opposed to the institution of marriage.

The homosexual individuals that are engaged in our American military services should not equate the ability to live a sexual lifestyle that is incompatible with their military vocation. Rather, the lifestyle is incompatible with the foundational precepts of military organization and directly incompatible with our normative Judeo-Christian traditions as lived in our society. The topic is not a military issue of homosexual rights, but rather an issue that considers our entire heritage of sexual norms that have evolved from Judeo-Christian heritages of male & female marriages.

Years ago, I had the opportunity to meet Father John Harvey, an American Priest that has devoted his entire priestly ministry to the needs of homosexuals. He maintains the actual physical attributes of “same-sex,” intercourse is intrinsically and physically impossible based upon the physical resistance that same sex bodies experience that contradict the biological human design. This notion of physical incompatibility further illustrates the progress of natural law and indeed the adage that form follows function when it comes to human reproduction and copulation. Fr. Harvey then elaborates that, the human couple of male and female are representative of the only species of mammal that copulates in a face-to-face position, namely for the purpose of the development of mutual love between the couple.
While Fr. Harvey’s concepts are oven ridiculed by advocates of homosexual activity, his points are well founded in anatomical and physical biological reality.

The policy of the incumbent President to eliminate the, “don’t ask, don’t tell,” policy really escalates the issue from a merely homosexual topic to a larger symptomatic misunderstanding of our society’s morality and not just the emerging permissiveness towards unregulated sexual norms and a deeper corruption of both of physical and spiritual awareness as Judeo-Christian believers.

In conjunction with the much touted Barack Obama program towards a pseudo-socialized health care plan, intrusion of government control into our free market business activities and increased government intervention into our most basic human freedoms, the ability of homosexuals to openly serve in the military marks another decline in moral and social turpitude. The next step might well include government assumption of religious organizations as Americans mover toward a new form of American Marxism and the traditions of Judeo-Christian norms fade into social antiquity.

Copyright 2010 Hugh McNichol

One Friday morning I finally decided to bite the bullet and take her with me.  I reasoned that since she can sit through mass, why not a rosary?  I’ll admit my plan was not well thought out, because my idea was to give her plastic rosary beads to emulate.  It wasn’t until after we began that I realized how noisy those little beads are when she swings them around.

Still, she did OK.  Not great.  There was a moment when I felt the need to walk her outside and discuss sitting still, but no one gave me the evil eye.  Or, more accurately, I didn’t see anyone give me the evil eye.  The others either ignored her or were nice about her being there.

I know that I am not alone.  Many moms of small children fight this issue of wanting to do things but worrying about the behavior of their kids.   Even though my experience with her during the prayer wasn’t perfect, was actually a little frustrating, and difficult to concentrate deeply on my prayer, I am encouraged to return and give it another try.  Just as it took a lot of planning and practice for my children to learn to sit through Mass nicely, this will require the same dedication.  Regularly praying the rosary is such a strong, powerful connection with our faith that I know in the long run, it is worth the frustration to keep attending.  Who knows, perhaps it will become a special time for my daughter as well.

Copyright 2010 Lisa Jones

Saint Anne Icon

Copyright 2010 Kathleen Anderson

This year’s agenda looks fantastic. Here are the details from this year’s press release:

The Edith Stein Project is an annual, student-run conference at the University of Notre Dame that sprung from a recognition of widespread degradation of the dignity of women and aims to both identify these degradations and recover a true understanding of masculinity and femininity. In contemporary society, there exists a significant movement towards the objectification of relationships and sexuality, which affects women in a profound and unique way.  This trend has caused a crisis in the recognition of true dignity and identity of the human person, leaving many people physically, emotionally, and spiritually broken.  While this phenomenon affects the world at large, this crisis is strikingly evident in relationships most immediate to us: personal friendships, marriages, and families. Human dignity, of both men and women, is always realized in community and reference to each other. As Pope Benedict noted in his most recent Encyclical, Caritas in Veritate, “As a spiritual being, the human creature is defined through interpersonal relations. The more authentically he or she lives these relations, the more his or her own personal identity matures, (53).” For this reason, this year’s conference will focus on women and men in community with one another.

St. Edith Stein, the patroness of the conference, took an interest in the philosophical study of human identity, gender, and relationships, writing about the nature of men and woman, the individual and community, and human empathy.  This year, the Edith Stein Project will examine the role of human relationships in the unique identity of each person, considering what it truly means to be a man or a woman while utilizing the riches of the Catholic Church’s teachings on sexuality and authentic personhood.  The conference will include presentations on a wide variety of topics, including masculinity and femininity, marriage, the family, sexual violence, and eating disorders.  We hope that the conference will compel individuals to examine the true meaning of what it is to be human, and ways in which authentic human dignity is upheld, taking to heart Edith Stein’s words: “The nation… doesn’t simply need what we have.  It needs what we are.”

We invite you to join in the discussion of human identity and relationships at the fifth annual Edith Stein Project, entitled “No Man is an Island: Creature, Culture, and Community.”

For additional details or to register, visit http://nd.edu/%7Eidnd/edithstein/index.html