Thanks again to Pat for having me on her show and for all of the terrific work she is doing Among Women!  Click here to listen to our conversation.

Have you seen the play or the movie “The Man For All Seasons?” In it, Sir Thomas More introduces us to a silence that loudly speaks the Truth. Does our silence or do our actions speak loudly? This Deacon Tom reflection invites us to consider Thomas More as we head towards Respect Life Sunday.

This week, Sarah Reinhard challenges you to think of Mary as a blankie, and you’ll get some history of Our Lady of Walsingham too!  (Note: much of this material originally appeared in Sarah’s column on Our Lady of Walsingham at Today’s Catholic Woman.)

Share your feedback at 206-339-9272, comment here on the blog or email lisa@catholicmom.com.

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The ebook includes 250 pages, divided into five parts:

• Part I includes a summary of the Rosary, its history, the significance of Rosary prayers, and its power as an intercessory prayer. Sample page
• Part II introduces the concept of the Rosary as Mary’s School and the importance of Mary’s role as advocate and teacher.  You’ll learn about the Nine Choirs of Angels and their significance in Rosary prayer. Sample page
• Part III explains the scientific principles of exercise upon which the workouts are structured, along with information on nutrition and hydration. Sample page
• Part IV will prepare you, physically and spiritually, to begin the workouts. This section adds suggestions on how to start and commit to The Rosary Workout™ and how to handle setbacks. Sample page
• Part V contains the workouts, divided into Beginner, Intermediate, and Advanced levels.  Rosary graphics are included to clarify the workout instructions. Sample Intermediate Level workout
• 10% of each sale donated to St. Vincent de Paul to help the poor
• More information or to make a purchase

To enter to win this contest, you must leave a comment on this post with a valid email address (which won’t be published or shared) before Midnight PST on October 7, 2009.  I’ll draw two random winners and announce the winners when the contest has ended.

Update: Our lucky winner is Carla (#64). Your prize will be sent soon.  Take a look at our other CatholicMom.com contests for more great chances to win!

Note – Peggy Bowes has generously offered a discount for our CatholicMom.com readers!  The coupon code is MARY (all caps) and can be entered during checkout for a $1.00 discount.  This makes the ebook price just $8.95 and does not affect the money given to St. Vincent de Paul (10% of the retail price).  The code is valid until October 31st.

This year has proven to be a little different.  While I still eschewed a party in lieu of a simple backyard barbecue for our family of four, I’m kind of proud and happy to be “aging gracefully” this year.  In the past year, I had so many wonderful moments—times when God’s presence in my life was so tangible I felt I could reach out and touch it.  Who wouldn’t want another year to experience His grace and mercy?!


As a classic “Type A” personality, my birthday has always ranked up their with Lent, Advent and New Year’s as a time of introspection and goal setting.  This year is no different.  I took some time yesterday to journal my thoughts on beginning my “late forties” (although Greg claims we can still say we’re in our “mids”).  I set spiritual, physical, relational and mental resolutions for the coming year, things I’d like to refine and change about myself, relationships I’d like to enhance.

One area of particular concern for me in the upcoming year is my health.  Perhaps it was my recent bout with non-invasive breast cancer that has lead me to embrace turning 46, but that experience was also a “wake up call” that taking care of myself physically is a gift I give to my family.  So my one birthday present to myself was a trip back to Weight Watchers – I’ve been a Lifetime member since my 40th birthday, but am embarrassed to admit that I fell off the wagon completely this year.  So I’m sharing with you that I’ll be working that “program” and am hoping to make you part of my accountability team and support network.  Jumping on that scale for a weigh-in is never fun, but now that the pain of doing it for the first time (well, the first time again!) is behind me I’m optimistic that trying to regain control over my fitness level and portion control will be a good part of this upcoming year.  Hopefully on June 15, 2010 I will look back without regret on this particular commitment.  Honestly for me, it’s less about a particular number on a scale than about how I feel physically and emotionally.  If you are struggling with weight issues, please know that you’ll be in my prayers as I walk this particular part of my journey.

How do you like to celebrate your birthday?  Any tips from our “age enhanced” readers on enjoying your late forties?

I urge everyone in light of the economic instability to please see to it that you have at least several months worth of food stored in your house.  But how do you know how much you really have?  I just want to share a quick way to estimate what you have so you can see where you are.

Step one: Open your cupboards and pantries and count all your boxes and cans and bottles and jars.  Do not count juices, or condiments (such as honey or pepper).  Do count canned milk of any kind and packages of Jello or pudding.  Count every 6 ounces or so of peanut butter as one. (So you would count an 18 oz jar as three.) Count every 4 ounces of crackers/chips, cereal, pasta, flour or dried potatoes as one. Same thing with dried fruit and nuts. Include what is in your fridge. Count every four ounces of meat, cheese, dried milk as one. Once you have counted, divide by three.  This is how many person days of food you have on hand.  Divide by how many people are in your family. This gives you a rough estimate of how many days worth of food you have.

Step two: Is not to simply add to your boxes and cans.  Step two is to balance what you have.  If you have 20 boxes of pasta, do you have enough canned tomatoes or pasta sauce to go with it or enough cheese to make mac and cheese?  Do you need butter or cooking oil to make use of what you have?  Are you loaded with cereal, but no canned/powdered milk? Do you have flour but not enough, yeast, baking soda/powder, or salt to match it? Are you low on condiments, spices? Balance your stores so that you are able to make use of what you already have.

Step three: Consider nutritional balance and variety and fill in gaps.  For example, if you are loaded with beans, add fruits and vegetables. Consider juices which can fill in nutritional gaps especially for young children.

Step four: Once you have a balanced store for any period of time, begin to increase it, being careful to maintain the balance.

I’m pleased to share the following interview with Thomas R. Collingwood, Ph.D., author of Spirit, Mind and Body: A Christian Foundation for Fitness

.  Tom’s book is a wonderful look at blending physical fitness and spirituality with profound results.  I hope you enjoy his insights and that you will check out Spirit, Mind and Body: A Christian Foundation for Fitness – I greatly enjoyed the book and highly recommend it to anyone with an interest in making the mind, body, faith connection!

Please introduce yourself and your family to our readers.

My wife Gretchen and I live about half the year (mostly in the winter) in Richardson Texas, a suburb of Dallas, and the summers in Estes Park, Colorado, where I volunteer as a Ranger at Rocky Mountain National Park and as a Hikemaster for the YMCA of the Rockies. Gretchen and I grew up in rural Indiana across the highway from each other and have been married for 43 years. She is a registered nurse and has been involved with telephone crisis counseling for many years. Both she and I serve as a Eucharistic Ministers and assist in providing lectures for RCIA.

We have two children. Our daughter Jennie lives in Paonia, Colorado where she is the high school Spanish teacher and volleyball coach. She has a boy and a girl. My son Andy lives in Estes Park where he manages a physical fitness and physical therapy center, He to, has a boy and a girl. Needless to say, when we all get together with 6 adults and four grandkids under the age of 4 it gets pretty wild.

With advanced degrees in both exercise science and psychology my physical fitness career started with the YMCA as a Physical Director and camp Unit Director where I developed a wilderness survival camp for at risk youth.  For over 15 years I served as the Director of Continuing Education for the world renowned Kenneth Cooper Aerobics Research Center where I instituted hundreds of physical fitness programs for employee groups and youths worldwide. In that capacity I trained over 10,000 fitness leaders and created the FitForce national law enforcement physical fitness program and the First Choice youth fitness project that was cited as one of the 20 exemplary youth fitness programs in the country.

For the last several years I have been involved in implementing faith based physical fitness programs by conducting seminars and retreats for diocesan priests, seminarians and Parish Family Ministries on the value of exercise for practicing ones faith. In addition, a new initiative titled “Eco-Fit” has been instituted through numerous environmental education and service projects that integrates environmental stewardship habits and physical activity. Working with Creatio, a Catholic based environmental education program I am now providing Stewardship of the Body and Environment retreats at the St. Malo Retreat Center in Estes Park, Colorado.

Over the years I have served in many leadership capacities for the Presidents Council on Physical Fitness and Sports and the American College of Sports Medicine and have authored eight books and over 100 articles in the field.

Please give an overview summary of Spirit, Mind and Body: A Christian Foundation for Fitness.

There is a rich Christian heritage in Scripture, the role models of Jesus and the Apostles, the thoughts and sayings of early Church fathers and modern Church leaders regarding our body and its relationship to spiritual and mental well-being. However, that tradition is little known.

The book consists of two major sections. The first four chapters provide a rationale for why we, as Christians, should be concerned about physical fitness and physical activity. A spiritual rationale with quotations from Scripture, early Church fathers and recent Popes is provided to define a faith based ethic for fitness and physical activity. Secondly a mental rationale is defined with conclusions provided from research on the effects of exercise and physical activity on emotional well being and cognitive functioning. The physical rationale summarizes the known effects of exercise on physical health dimensions and how physical activity can lower many health risks such as heart disease.

The last four chapters of the book provide a simple “how to” plan to get more physically active in a safe manner. A “getting started” section explores why the reader wants to get active and how to neutralize barriers. A general process is provided that enables the reader to assess their own activity and fitness level, set goals and design activity and exercise plans. A final section gives motivational guidelines for sticking with a program.

What prompted you to write Spirit, Mind and Body?

Over the years I have been involved in educating and training thousands of individuals and organizations to be more physically active. A major focus of this effort has been on designing programs that will motivate others to exercise. That experience has taught me that an individual will not change behavior unless it fits with a personal worldview. For most Christians our faith is that world view. A recent Gallup poll of practicing Christians found that our faith was considered a major influence on our behavior, yet many Christians and the majority of Americans (as in much of the western world) are still sedentary. So why, as Christians, are we not more active and fit? The Christian faith as expressed by the life of Jesus Christ, the Bible and the tradition of the Catholic Church is our worldview, yet we are not always educated on Jesus’ and our faiths’ teaching about our body. This book attempts to challenge Christians with that understanding.

This book grew out of my experiences in conducting physical fitness retreats and seminars for diocesan priests, seminarians and parishioners where I discovered that for an individual to take the steps to become more physical fitness required having an understanding of a faith based rationale. I believe we have a Christian obligation to care for our body and to maximize our energy so that we can fully serve the Lord. In turn, I believe God wants us to be as physically and mentally healthy as we can be. Once we become more aware of this and learn the skills to design and follow a safe and effective fitness program, then we will increase the chances of having and sustaining a healthier lifestyle. In short, we are better prepared for our faith journey by embarking on a fitness journey.

This book is my attempt to help meet the need for that faith based lifestyle change and lifestyle change that, in turn, reciprocates by supporting our faith. While most of my career has involved assisting others to be more fit for physical or mental reasons I am realizing that I am now being called to put that experience to work for spiritual reasons – to put my talents to work for the faith and the Church.

What value can physical fitness have on the spiritual life?

I have found that spirituality can mean many different things for different people. For me, spirituality is having a sense of experiencing and being close to God and all his creation. With that I think fitness can be of value in two ways. First, is the effect fitness has on increasing our energy level. It could be having the energy to act on our faith by volunteering at a soup kitchen, or having the energy to spend a contemplative hour at a Holy Hour of Adoration before the Blessed Sacrament, or having the energy to be more attentive during Mass, or having the energy to fully read and comprehend Sacred Scripture. That energy is an enabling force to experience God.

The second effect is what I call the “process” effect. The act of exercising, of sweating, of experiencing the heart rate increase provides us with an experience of the wonderment of God’s creation. Our bodies are a well designed machine. Physical activity instructs and reinforces that for us. In addition, physical movement can keep us humble. Exercise provides an introspection into ourselves. It is a very honest process in which we can not falsify or hide from what we really are able to do. That introspective relationship with ourselves can open the door for an introspection of our relationship to God. An example is what I call “prayer walking”. My daily morning “wake up” walk after breakfast is when I can talk to God as he walks with me.

In the book, you give some early Christian examples of the mind/body/faith correlation.  Could you briefly speak about a few of these?

“Sound body, sound mind” is a saying that goes back to the ancient Greeks. Likewise, the modern day YMCA motto of Spirit, Mind and Body conveys the same message. We are not one-dimensional beings. From a Christian perspective we see this mind/body/spirit connection first in the role model of Jesus.  We can infer much from the Gospels about him as a physical role model. First, Jesus was a long distance hiker.  The Gospels tell us that Jesus traveled great distances on foot. In Matthew 15:21 it is written that Jesus and His disciples walked from Jerusalem to Tyre and Sidon – a distance of 50 miles. Secondly, the Gospels tell us that his earthly father Joseph was a carpenter and implies that Jesus practiced the same trade. Thus, Jesus would have worked as strenuously as a lumberjack because carpenters in His day felled and trimmed trees. As such, He would have had to have high levels of muscular strength and endurance as well as flexibility.
The notion of the unity of sprit, mind and body was a belief of the earliest Christians. Paul’s first letter to the Thessalonians is thought, by most biblical scholars, to be the first written Christian manuscript. In 1 Thessalonians 5:23 Paul directly refers to the perfection of an integrated spirit, soul and body through the coming of Jesus Christ. This was an important theme in many of Paul’s writings, especially in his first letter to the Corinthians. In it he makes many assertions to the linkage between sprit/mind and body. He alludes to the body being the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 3:16-17 and 6:19). In 1 Corinthians 12:12, and 24-26 he expands on how we can not divide up ourselves but we are one integrated being.

The concept of spirit, mind and body unity was also expressed by the early Church Fathers and later Church theologians. St. Irenaeus, in the 2nd century, spoke of the body and soul together in what constitutes the “perfect man”. Another early Church father, Justin Martyr, noted that God has called all of us “our body and our soul” to happiness and resurrection through Christ. Perhaps the most famous early Christian theologian, St. Augustine, notes that it is our Christian responsibility to care for both the body and the spirit. Finally, the great theologian of the Middle Ages, St. Thomas Aquinas, noted how activity can aid in contemplation both as relaxation and as a means for learning and that “the body can help in the operations of the soul”.

If someone is currently leading a sedentary lifestyle, what are some easy ways to get started with living a more fit life?

I have found that in many respects the old saying “just do it” can work for some people. But it has to be in very easy and simple ways to “just do it”. This involves nothing more than looking for opportunities to expend energy in physical activity.  Examples are taking the stairs instead of an elevator. Move around the house or office whenever possible and instead of calling to people in other rooms, get up to see them. Throw away the TV remote. Rather than employing someone to always do the yard work occasionally do it yourself. Some people will deliberately park their car several blocks from work so that they have to walk further to the office. If one seriously thinks through a typical day, there will be ample opportunities to expend more energy.

Another approach to being more active is to try to decrease sedentary activities. A simple guideline is to stand instead of sitting and walk instead of standing. While there is nothing wrong in sedentary activities such as reading and watching TV, there are substitute activities. For example, you could get books on tape and listen to a book while walking. Instead of sitting around and talking when visiting friends try doing a “walk and talk” together. Even one’s prayer life can be made more physically active by doing prayer walking. The bottom line is that by seeking opportunities to be more active and expend energy, a movement habit will develop which helps to set the stage for more formal and structured activity.

A more structured approach could involve three basic steps. A first step could be to clarify and define the benefits of being active and develop a personal reason to become more physically active. It may be for a spiritual reason to develop a sense of connection with your body, an emotional reason to combat depression, or a mental reason to be more alert, or a physical reason to lose weight and prevent heart disease. The important issue is having a sense for why it is important to commit yourself to change your activity habits. This helps to keep you motivated.

A second step would be to review potential barriers to being physically active. It is not always easy to change or start a new behavior of any kind. Barriers are those obstacles that can keep us from starting and following a physical activity program. Yet, most barriers can be overcome if being active is a personal priority. There are physical, social and psychological barriers to exercising. Having a sense of what those barriers are and how to minimize them before starting a program greatly enhances the probability of success. Some of the more common barriers to address are inconvenience, lack of time, preexisting injury, lack of skill, and social/cultural barriers. Sometimes our circle of family, friends and co-workers are not active and may not be very supportive of our efforts to change our behavior. It may require doing it alone, which, for many, can be a barrier. An option is to join a physical activity group, health club or class. Another way to overcome this barrier is to find a “partner” who is also willing to exercise.

A third step is to set physical activity goals such as walking for 30 minutes day and incorporating those goals into an activity plan. Select an activity or activities based upon what you like to do, what is convenient, and what can be readily substituted for sedentary behaviors at home, work or school. The plan would include 1) listing the days of the week that you will do the activity or activities, 2) listing the duration and times that you will do the activity and 3) listing where you will do the activity.

Finally you want to keep a log of your activity and how well you follow the plan. Give yourself a reward each week you follow the plan for the first month to get you started. Hopefully, after that the activity will be its own reward.

Are there any additional thoughts you would like to share with our readers?

As I mentioned previously, changing any behavior is not easy but looking at habit change as part of our on going faith journey can aid in altering that behavior. I had a recent example that illustrates this. I am active in many Pro Life events. Prior to a march we had in Dallas a year ago a friend of mine who has been very active in Pro Life over the years said he felt bad for not being able attend because walking and standing for several hours was just too much effort for him. He had become fairly obese and he thought walking and standing was just too much effort. After a year of dieting and gradually increasing his level of physical activity and exercise he made this years’ march. He thanked me for helping him get back to what he considered his faith mission.     Independent of personal considerations for health and well being this , to me, is what this all about – Being active to have the energy to continue our faith journey and our faith based actions to build the Kingdom.

Purchase Spirit, Mind and Body: A Christian Foundation for Fitness

For the past seven weeks, five days a week, I have been making visits to our local Cancer Center.  Every morning, I tried my best to enter the building with a cheerful smile on my face and a good attitude.  Some days, keeping the smile in place was tough as I waded into a waiting room filled with some very ill people.


I don’t know how to describe it exactly, but many of those first days I felt guilty for being there – my diagnosis was so much less severe than so many of them were facing.  Even having a full head of hair made me feel bad some days.  But I quickly came to realization that it was God’s plan for me to walk this particular part of my journey, and that for whatever reason, for those seven weeks, I was exactly where He wanted me to be.

Radiation therapy is “no biggie” compared to the chemotherapy that so many people face during cancer treatment.  Yes, there is some physical discomfort and some fatigue that comes with the process, but for the most part I have been able to maintain my normal activities for the past several weeks.  So every day, along with everything else a wife and mom does, I had therapy time.  Along with the physical aspects of my treatment came mental and spiritual therapeutic benefits as well.

Every day, I was able to hop onto the table with a list of intercessory prayer intentions in my heart and to devote that time to praying for others.  Some days, the time seemed to pass too quickly before I had been able to get through my entire list, but I know that God hears those prayers deep within our hearts and that He had me covered!

I have to say a few words about the angels who work in cancer centers.  Every day, when I entered the building, the receptionist always greeted me with a smile, pausing her work to say hello to me as if that greeting were more important than anything else on her agenda.  The nurses who cared for me so lovingly made the process much less frightening and exhibited so much compassion.  My radiation oncologist always gave me his full attention and carefully listened to me once a week, sharing with me the details of what I could expect next.

But my real heroes were the two professionals, Lynn and Joe, who escorted me to the treatment table each day and administered my therapy with such care and dignity.  I truly feel like God sent me new friends in my life – every day they would ask about my plans for the day and truly listen to me in a way that is increasingly rare in today’s world.  Thirty three times, they helped me to and from treatments and in the process we shared the little bits of information that make up every day life.  When I told Lynn yesterday as I was leaving that I would miss her, it was an understatement.  Her upbeat attitude and true compassion for her patients has left an indelible mark on me.  Thankfully, I talked her into joining Facebook so that we can keep in touch, because I hope to never see her at her place of employment in the future.

I’m sorry this post is very long, but I wanted to share a few reflections with all of you since you have been so supportive of me during this process.  I now know more than ever that the gift of good health is a precious blessing, but also a responsibility.  As before, I would plead with each of you to attend to your own healthcare needs as you would do for your children.  Have a doctor’s appointment and don’t put off your mammograms!  My journey will continue with additional medication and follow up appointments, but the end of a thirty-three segment relay race gives me a good excuse to pause and to celebrate – and you’re invited to the party!

At that moment of my 16.5th treatment, I was officially halfway done with this phase of my little battle with breast cancer.

The moment wasn’t lost on me – it’s been a long three and half weeks.  More so emotionally than physically, but my body is starting to bear some of the tell tale marks of my therapy.  An itchy, bumpy red rash is now spreading across the quadrant of my torso that is being treated – it’s almost uncanny how neatly it’s staying confined with the boundaries of the five pinpoint tattoos that mark the radiation field.  The most uncomfortable part of my breast now gets treated every night with those wonderful nursing pads filled with freezable gel.  A bit of fatigue has begun to kick in, so I’m enjoying taking mid afternoon naps a few days each week.  Honestly, I don’t think the fatigue is anything more than most moms feel every day of our lives, but I’m giving myself permission to sneak in a siesta!

I can’t tell you what a comfort it has been during the past few weeks to be walking this path as a faith filled Catholic mom!  Sustained by daily Eucharist and with the knowledge that friends and family around the country are lifting me up in prayer every day, I feel more spiritually refreshed than I have been in years.  My own private intercessory prayer life is busy too – some days I don’t have time to fit my entire list in during treatments times, so I’m more cognizant of making time for quiet prayer throughout the course of my day.

There’s something about being halfway done with a goal that makes you feel so good.  As a slow runner/jogger who’s done three marathons in my life, I’ve equated that midway point in a race or any challenge as the point of no return – if you’ve made it that far, there’s no turning back now!  I see new women arrive at the Cancer Center for treatment and I want to go up to them and hug them and tell them that it passes by quickly and relatively painlessly, and that – believe it or not – much good can come from embracing what is happening to your body and soul.  I am blessed that my situation is so much less difficult than 99% of my fellow patients, a point that I never cease to remind myself of every day.

This point of being halfway to the finish line makes me want to take a look at other difficult changes that need to be made in my life and to try to determine how I can break them into 33 segments of small change that will lead to lasting renewal.

But for now, 16.5 had become one of my lucky numbers.

Earlier in the week, I was a bit down in the dumps.  Spending time at the Cancer Center is not painful in any way, other than emotionally.  Every weekday morning, I drop Adam at school, head to 8:00 mass and then drive the ten minutes to my treatment.  By the time I arrived, I’ve had my morning coffee and breakfast, spent time with my family, done a few hours of work, and been fed spiritually at Mass.

I walk in the door feeling ready to take on the world.  The wonderful people who administer my treatments are fast becoming good friends.  They ask about my day, listen to my stories, and ask questions that make me realize that they are truly listening to what I’m saying rather than just making small talk.  They treat me with such unbelievable care and dignity – it’s a bit overwhelming at first for a modest person like me to walk into a room and have a variety of people see me in various stages of undress.  But somehow, the careful way in which these technicians remove my robe to ensure I’m properly lined up on the table and then gingerly make sure I’m appropriately draped prior to treatment exudes compassion.

After ten treatments, it’s becoming reflexive to position myself on the table, allow myself to be lined up, and then to close my eyes and pray while the radiation machine hovers around me, doing its work.  My prayers tend to be for those whose path I’ve crossed in the hallway and for the most recent intentions on my list, such as our friend Donna-Marie Cooper O’Boyle’s travels to Illinois for a retreat or for all of the SQPN moms who are due to have babies any time!  In some ways, it feels like a daily luxury to rest on that table so  quietly.  There is no pain involved and the only sound is the radiation machine’s gentle hum.  If treatments took any longer, I’d likely be falling asleep!

On Monday, after my 11th treatment, I will be one third of the way done with my progress toward a clean bill of health.  I can look at this journey and see the spiritual benefits it has reaped in my life:  daily mass is a wonderful habit I’ve wanted to build into my schedule for years and my intercessory prayer vocation has rarely felt more active.  Since I’m not having any side effects other than fatigue, there are seemingly no downsides to this seven week journey!

Though I was “running on empty” earlier this week, I’m happy to report that I’m now feeling less emotionally drained by this process.  It will likely continue to be very difficult to be confronted on a daily basis with the stories of so many people who are suffering physically and emotionally – but it’s a a joy to know that I can pray for each of them in my own little way.

Second, thanks to each and every one of you who have prayed for me, written to me, dm’d me, tweeted at me, or sent me Facebook flowers and well wishes – your words of support and encouragement should make this a very smooth and easy process.  While you’re praying for me, I would ask you to pray for those far more seriously ill than I am who face much more grave prognoses.

So today, I took advantage of the thirty minutes between dropping Adam at school and my 8:45 appointment to go to Mass – that seems like the perfect way to spend the time whenever I can do so!  I arrived promptly and changed into the hospital gown they give you and stashing my stuff in my “cubby”, complete with a personalized label just like preschool.  A note on those gowns – what exactly is the correct way to wear them?  They tie in the front, but not in a way that keeps you from completely exposing yourself so I spend the whole time I am waiting clutching the front of the gown in terror that I will flash someone.  If anyone knows the magical formula for tying them appropriately, please leave a comment below!

I was gowned and ready, convinced that I would be off the table and in my car driving home promptly by 9:00 am.  WRONG!  My very nice technician came in to tell me that the machine I was waiting for was broken and that I would be sorted into the line for the other machine and subject to an approximate 20 minute wait.

No problem, I just retrieved my iPhone from my cubby and was in the process of checking email when a very nice woman named “Joan” entered the room.  Joan had just come from meeting with the doctor and had tears streaming down her face.  But in this case, they turned out to be very happy tears.  “Good doctors here!  No more cancer!”  Joan shared with me in her very broken English as she rubbed her stocking cap head in excitement.  My Spanish is horrible, so all I could do was have a good little empathy happy-cry with Joan and try to let her know how thrilled I was for her.

There’s something I’m learning as I spend time in the Cancer Center.  I have expressed here before that I feel like a bit of an impostor – that I shouldn’t be there taking up space or staff time because I don’t really feel sick.  Meeting people like Joan is going to be a big part of this journey for me.  On Friday, when I was waiting for my xrays, I saw a very young mom and her adorable daughter.  The daughter, who looked to be about five, sported her Mommy’s blue eyes and a full head of shocking blond hair that I guessed her Mommy probably had too when she wasn’t bald from chemo.  I don’t know that mom’s name, but the site of the two of them sitting and playing game boy in that waiting room stuck with me all weekend.  When I was on the table Friday for xrays, I spent the whole time praying for “Blondie and her daughter” – I don’t know them, and will likely never meet them, but I felt compelled to beg God to please heal Blondie immediately and to keep her cute daughter worry free in the process.  It’s funny that I’m also equating having a full head of hair to feeling guilty in the Cancer Center waiting room – the ladies in those knit caps are the ones who really need our prayers!

During my wait today, my sister Erin called and chatted me through about fifteen minutes of the 45 I eventually spent waiting.  That was a treat and made the wait time pass much more quickly.  Once I was actually on the table, the radiation was so quick and easy I was amazed!  You lay on your back, hands gripping a bar above your head, and hold very still.  I have a tendency to hold my breath when I’m trying to be still, so I need to relax a bit.  There is no pain, no sensation at all aside from the machine whirring around you.  The machine, by the way, turned out not to be broken after all – which left me with that same sensation I always have when I’m traveling on an airplane and the captain takes you off the plane for a mechanical problem and then reboards you an hour later – was there truly a problem, is the problem truly fixed, and would you ever know the difference anyway?

In these early days of radiation, I’m told I will feel no effects.  As early as next week, I could begin to develop skin issues, but that will be a very small price to pay.  After my treatment, I bid goodbye to the two techs who will likely become my girlfriends by the end of this process and waited to see my doctor.  It turns out that every Monday, regardless of how I’m feeling, I will meet with him for a check up. That check up includes a blood pressure check and weigh in, which is a cruel thing to do right after Christmas!  But I’ve decided that since I am going to have to weigh in every Monday, I might as well treat it like Weight Watchers – so now my goal is to lose one pound by next Monday, or to pull the old WW trick of wearing lighter clothing!

Dr. K. is very nice and our meeting was quick and to the point, so I was able to hit my car by 10:15 – only 75 minutes after my original estimation.  The fact that this delay happened on the very first day was a good reminder to me that I am not the person who is in charge of this process, and that I need to just relax and go with the flow.  That may mean less podcasts, fewer blog posts, and a skipped work out or two.  But right now, giving myself over to this part of my healing will take priority.

OK, that’s enough for one day of these random musings – I’ve completed the first of my thirty three scheduled treatments.  But don’t worry, I won’t subject you to blog posts every day for the next seven weeks.  If you could please remember Blondie, Joan and all of the other ladies sporting knit caps in the waiting room I’d appreciate it so much!

Yesterday’s appointment with the oncologist was very informative.  The doctor spent so much time discussing with us my diagnosis and the treatment route he is recommending.  I always wonder if I’m getting preferential treatment for being a “doctor’s wife” – I hope every patient who walks into an appointment with my oncologist receives the same compassionate, detail filled orientation to life as a cancer patient.  In reality, my prognosis is so wonderfully optimistic that I was likely a happy reprieve in the day of a very caring physician who has to deliver a lot of bad news every day to most of the people he treats.

It seems that the next step in the path to crossing this little episode off my list is to visit a Radiation Oncologist – different from the Oncologist we saw yesterday, who will oversee the medication treatment phase that begins after 7 weeks of radiation.

So there will be yet another doctor’s appointment prior to treatment beginning, and that process will likely begin in early January.  Right now, I’m waiting to find out which Radiation Oncologist is covered by the HMO insurance we switched to this year.

Honestly, dealing with the insurance aspects of this have been the most confusing and frustrating part of the process.  Every time I feel myself getting anxious or upset about all of the hoops we jump through, I remember and say a prayer for those who are really sick and have no coverage at all.

When we were at the Cancer Center yesterday, I had such a surreal sensation of “I shouldn’t be here, taking up space for those who are so sick!”  All around us were patients who looked pretty bad – ill, uncomfortable, and in varying stages of treatment.  We were greated by “Bob”, a volunteer ombudsman and 8 year cancer survivor who oriented us to the center.  When he refused to let me walk up the stairs to the second floor and insisted on the elevator, I wanted to shake him and tell him, “I’m not really sick, Bob!”  I felt like an imposter – taking up services (inlcuding elevator time!) for people who are far worse off.  Bob, in a jaunty Santa hat and sporting a big cane, wouldn’t take no for an answer, so I obliged him.

My oncologist, Dr. H., is such a nice man.  I tried to convince him that we could skip seeing the next specialist, but sadly that’s not the way things are done.  So there will be another appointment in a different Cancer Center likely within the next week or two.  The list maker in me wants to be able to put a date on my calendar that says “Radiation treatment complete” but, alas, that won’t be happening just yet.

The good news is that, as we’ve read, DCIS is a very treatable form of breast cancer and the future is incredibly bright.  I’m learning a lot as we go through this, mostly about myself spiritually and emotionally.  I’m also finding this to be a great way to focus on true prayers for those who face tremendous health, emotional and well-being challenges these days.  I hope you will join me in those prayers!

Image note – I found this image of an old radiation therapy treatment online.  It’s amazing how far technology has come and how wonderful it is that I can feel so confident about my treatment.  The precious baby in this photo reminds me to pray for all of the children who face difficult diagnoses and for their parents who suffer along with them.

During last week’s surgery, additional tissue was excised and sent to pathology for analysis.  After several long days of waiting, we learned yesterday that I have been diagnosed with Ductal Carcinoma in Situ (DCIS), the most common form of non-invasive breast cancer.

I remember hearing about DCIS last year for the first time when the amazing Cheryl Crow received her diagnosis with this type of cancer.  The good news is that DCIS is highly treatable and has a nearly 100% survival rate.  Mine was caught very early, so that is indeed a blessing.

I will be going next week to meet with an oncologist and will likely be going through radiation, which is the most common form of treatment for this type of non-invasive breast cancer.  That will likely mean six weeks of five day per week radiation treatments, which shouldn’t leave me feeling sick in any way.   Adam was happy that my hair won’t be impacted – he doesn’t want Mom stealing his hats!

I’ll know more after my oncology appointment on Wednesday, but wanted to share this with you now since so many of you have been praying for me.  I want you to know that I’m confident that this will be fully treatable and am not feeling any pain (other than the normal post-surgical kind) or, more importantly, anxiety.  I’m surrounded by people who love and care for me so much and who’ve offered to help in every way imaginable.  I’m hoping that I’ll feel so great during the treatment phase that I won’t have to take anyone up on those offers, but it’s good to know I have so much support and love!

I would ask you for two favors today:

1. Please keep all of our friends facing health and well-being difficulties during these unsettling times in your prayers.  Please especially pray for the families of our church friends Russell and Craig, who both died this past week.
2. Regardless of if you’re a man or a woman, please take time today to schedule your annual (or for most of us “once per decade”) physical.  Having lost our friend Craig to a sudden heart attack this week is a good reminder that we Catholic moms need our husbands to be taking care of themselves too.

I’m sharing all of this (and will likely continue to write about this phase of my journey) in the hopes that it will inspire all of us that we are temples of God’s creation – as such precious treasures we need to do all we can to care for ourselves as much as we care for those around us.

I love taking walks with my boys – it seems to be the perfect venue for getting caught up on all that’s happening in their lives.  Outside and away from the distractions of home, they seem to open up and share so much more.  Adam is such the teenager – it continually shocks me how very grown up my “baby” is getting.  He was sharing with me yesterday about some social situations at school and his mature reaction made me feel very proud of him.  He’s very tuned into people’s feelings and emotions – a wonderful attribute for a young man!

Even though it’s still 60 degrees in Fresno, our front yard is littered with gorgeous leaves of many sizes and colors.  I may never make it to New England for the colors, but yesterday Fresno felt like a little patch of heaven!

I truly have the world’s best, most thoughtful husband, friends and family.  At times when you aren’t feeling well, it’s nice to know that there are so many helping hands around to pick up the pieces.  OK, it feels like the next round of pain kills are kicking in, so I’m going to sign off for now.  Hugs to all of you!