This morning, for the first time since 1994, I did not drive my kids to the first day of school. These two graciously allowed mom to continue our family tradition of standing in the back yard, holding a sign announcing the date and their grade. Eric decided to “suit up”, announcing his intentions to take this — his senior year — very seriously. Adam, on the other hand, went casual. I think the flip flops and sunglasses were a reaction to not having to wear a school uniform for the first time in nine years.

After the photos and a quick prayer, it was time for me to say goodbye.  I offered, one last time, to drive them – both kindly declined.  Before I knew it, they were off.

Adam - First Grade, 2001

Eric - Fourth Grade, 2001

This year will hold lots of new and exciting adventures for both of them.  There will be challenging classes, auditions and rehearsals, new friends for Adam and college apps for Eric.  They will face their tests and challenges, and their parents will too.  Today, it’s fun to sit back and ponder all the memories that will be made and the many lessons they will learn along the way.

For those of you sending little ones off to school for the first time or commencing your homeschool career, I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!

This year, my Adam read the diary for the first time.  His take on the musings of a girl his age was the source of many mother son conversations this Spring, as he started to keep his own journal.

This week, it was announced that in commemoration of what would have been her 80th birthday, the entire collection of Anne’s original writings will now be on rotating display in the museum that was once her “Secret Annexe”.  You can learn more about the collection here.

With summer upon us, it’s a great time to pick up Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl and share it with our older children.  It’s also the perfect time to give them the gift of their own diary or journal and to encourage them to share what’s on their mind.  Anne once wrote, “And therefore I am grateful to God for giving me this gift, this possibility of developing myself and of writing, of expressing all that is in me.”  Her gift continues to inspire others!

– Post From My iPhone

Congratulations Adam! We are so proud of you!

Additional Photos

Visiting Chinatown

Sometimes, living with two wonderful teenage boys, I turn into the world’s biggest nag.  I was in prime form this morning before Mass, likely thanks to a short night’s sleep and the rush we were in to get out of the house.  I made a request of the boys, something that had been on my mind all morning, using that motherly tone… you know the one…

It wasn’t until we got into church and I began re-reading the liturgy of the word that the error of my ways hit me with full force.

“Beloved, let us love one another,
because love is of God;
everyone who loves is begotten by God and knows God.
Whoever is without love does not know God, for God is love.”

and then

“As the Father loves me, so I also love you.
Remain in my love.”

and the final reminder

“This I command you: love one another.”

As if the point hadn’t been driven home enough, my music ministry men then began playing “They’ll Know We Are Christians By Our Love” and the motherly remorse kicked in big time.  Had I told my sons and husband yet today how deeply I love them?  Had I said anything nice at all — is there any way that “Brush your teeth” spoken three times can be construed as love?  Yes, there is motherly love behind the reminder.  I don’t want their teeth falling out.  But was my tone one of love, or more one of dissatisfaction and exasperation?

Just about every week, when I stop to get a good look at Eric, I realize how fleetingly precious this time with my sons truly is.  Eric, a Junior in high school, already has one foot out the door.  Do I want to spend the next eighteen months before he goes off to college getting in the last word, or do I want this to be a time of loving support of the man he is becoming.  As Adam ventures into the world of high school, do I want to be the one always saying “no” or the one gently encouraging him to be the best he can be?

It’s such a fine line we parents walk.  We want to help our children avoid all of life’s many pitfalls and protect them from any pain or failure.  We do this out of love.  But it’s very easy to get caught up in what feels like endless nagging.  Was this what Jesus had in mind today when he told his disciples, “This I command you: love one another.”

I don’t have the answers today, only questions and a bit of self doubt.  Blessedly, the gospel message for today has given me my marching orders for this week: a bit less nagging, and a lot more loving.

Wrong!  He took the initiative to locate a local pipe band, reschedule his flute lessons and even save up some money for the eventual purchase of bagpipes.  Blessedly, the first stage of learning to play is to use a “chanter” which is a very quiet equivalent of a full set of pipes. So last night, we went off to his first lesson.  I deposited him in the company of some very nice men who seemed very enthused about seeing a fresh face.  When I walked back to my car, the strains of “Danny Boy”, “Amazing Grace” and that one famous Scottish anthem were droning loudly outside the practice room as the pipers warmed up.

Adam will start off for a few months with a one hour beginner’s lesson.  If his interest continues and he practices diligently, he can join the band – which means his own kilt and set of pipes.  Last night when I picked him up, he was positively glowing with excitement.  His teacher was impressed by his site reading abilities and interest level and gave him very positive remarks.  It’s so wonderful, as a mom, to see that look of unadulterated joy on your child’s face (even if it’s caused by bagpipes!)

I will keep you posted on our path towards a full set of pipes.  I’m still not convinced that this latest instrument choice will “stick”, but if last night was any indication I may be investing in bagpipes and earplugs very soon.

Yesterday, Adam (the 14 year old) and I made the three hour trek to Santa Clara University to attend a special ceremony.  Adam was honored by the John Hopkins University Center for Talented Youth (CTY) as one of the highest scorers on their recent talent search testing.  To be considered for this award, Adam and his fellow recipients had to take either the ACT or the SAT (yes, the college exam!) and be in the top percentages.

I was anxious to make the drive with Adam and to make this a special day for him, recognizing all of his diligent work.  At the event, the keynote speaker was Dr. William Greenwalt, Director of the Honors Program and Classics Professor at Santa Clara.  Dr. Greenwalt gave a stirring speech, aimed at encouraging the honorees to live up to their incredible, God given (and yes, he said “God given”) potential.  He urged them to maintain a “childlike sense of wonder”, never ceasing to look at the world in amazement.  “Don’t be afraid of failure,” he encouraged the kids, citing Ty Cobbs’ 367 lifetime batting average as proof that sometimes we have to fail on the path to success.

I was most moved during Dr. Greenwalt’s address by his comments to the parents.  “Do not live vicariously through your children,” he warned us.  I looked around me at a room filled with incredibly high achieving junior high students and knew that he had a few of us pegged!  It’s always such a temptation, especially as a stay at home mom, to falsely tie up our identities in those of our children.  After all, didn’t I play some small part in Adam’s accomplishments by driving him around so much?!  Although I jest, I felt reminded by Dr. Greenwalt’s remarks to always make sure that Eric and Adam know constantly how incredibly proud I am of them.  Sure, awards and recognition are nice, but it is the quality of their character — day in and day out — that leaves my heart swelling with love.

The event’s host, Jan Coleman-Knight of Johns Hopkins, informed the students in the audience that the founders of Google and Facebook had both been past CTY award recipients – so Adam is in good company.  It was nice to spend the day around such a well mannered and inspirational group of students.  After we had picked up Adam’s award and dined together at PF Changs, we began the long drive home.  The road trip is one we’ll both remember for a long time – Adam continues to teach me life lessons every day of my life, and for that I’m quite grateful!

In fencing, Adam has found a sport he truly enjoys.  Part of me would love to skip entirely the competitive aspects of the sport and just let my son enjoy playing a game he loves.  His coach, however, has a different perspective – so we’re headed off to see how it goes!  Regardless of the outcome tomorrow, I’m a very proud mom.  Adam has worked very diligently to prepare and is in great shape.  He is also a true sportsman – a gentleman with excellent manners and a great attitude.  These attributes follow him off the fencing strip and into everyday life.  So in my book, he’s already a winner!

One of Eric’s friends had planned a party, but when that fell through Greg and I were thrilled to open our house up to the kids and to let them get together here under our supervision.

A few things we would recommend:

1. Do agree to be the party house – Kids want to get together, and in my opinion I’d rather have them in my home than anywhere else! If there here, I know they are supervised, not drinking, safe and having fun.
2. Don’t let your kid invite the entire grade – Unless you are prepared for a major blowout, keep the guest list to a reasonable count.  You can decide for your family what the definition of “reasonable” is.  For us, we felt we could safely supervise 25 friends.
3. Do have a start and end time – Most of the kids showed up either early, or right on time.  We told them they needed to be picked up or leave by 1:00 AM and all but a few had parents pick them up by that time.
4. Do maintain a watchful presence – Give the kids some space, but let them know you’re in the vicinity.  I spent two hours in the kitchen baking cookies and brownies for them.  While they knew I was nearby, since I was busy it didn’t look like I was just hanging around for no reason.
5. Do keep the menu simple – Finger foods, clear liquids (obviously non-alcoholic) and lots of sweets seemed to be the most popular items.  A few weeks ago, we ordered pizzas for this same crowd and half of them went uneaten.  The big winner last night was the Artichoke Dip.
6. Do have activity options – We have ping pong, air hockey and pool tables at the ready for teen visitors.  But last night, they spent two hours playing Cranium Family Edition – a fun game that’s a mix of charades, pictionary, and some other classics.  They also enjoyed lighting off a few safe fireworks and hanging out around a bonfire, but there require definite adult supervision.

I can’t think of a better way to have celebrated the New Year than to gather with our kids and their buddies last night – sure, we have some clean up to do today, but hopefully the memories the kids made last night will last longer than the brownie stains on the carpet!

This photo is a Catholic Mom’s desperate attempt to catch her eighth grade son in all his line-dancing glory!  Unfortunately, Adam’s moves were too smooth for me to capture with a camera, but the blur you see in the center of this photo was the evening’s best line dancer (not that I’m biased at all!)

Read more about our wonderful tradition of Christmas pageants over at Faith and Family Live! in my post today.  I would love to hear about the way your school or homeschooling group celebrates the Christmas season in song and celebration!

Before the movie, the three kids bellied up to the bar at Johnny Rockets for burgers and fries, while my fellow mom-friend and I sat at an adjoining table, giving them a taste of independence.  Watching Adam smile and joke with his friends, my heart ached just a bit at how grown up my “baby” is getting.  A year from now, he likely won’t be caught dead letting mom accompany his friends to a film.

Over at Faith and Family Live! today, I’m inviting your comments on the Twilight books and the movie.  Have you read the books or seen the film?  Is your teen into this trend?

Adam doesn’t seem to be quite as caught up in the trend as some of his friends, one of which has already seen the movie five times.  I’m glad I had the chance to watch the movie with Adam, and will long remember our conversation afterward. 

Moments like these make me ponder the all-too-quick passage of time…

Eric and Adam, celebrating their successful Youth Philharmonic performance!

I love taking walks with my boys – it seems to be the perfect venue for getting caught up on all that’s happening in their lives.  Outside and away from the distractions of home, they seem to open up and share so much more.  Adam is such the teenager – it continually shocks me how very grown up my “baby” is getting.  He was sharing with me yesterday about some social situations at school and his mature reaction made me feel very proud of him.  He’s very tuned into people’s feelings and emotions – a wonderful attribute for a young man!

Even though it’s still 60 degrees in Fresno, our front yard is littered with gorgeous leaves of many sizes and colors.  I may never make it to New England for the colors, but yesterday Fresno felt like a little patch of heaven!

Adam 11/20/08