Interview between authors Donna-Marie Cooper O’Boyle and Patti Maguire Armstrong

DONNA-MARIE: Patti, thanks for taking the time out for this interview. Your book looks lovely and as I said in my endorsement, it is “simply delightful!” I loved reading the manuscript and felt that even though it is written for third to sixth-graders it is engaging and also relatable to parents as well. Hopefully, it will be a book shared and discussed between them. I have a feeling you know something about growing boys! After all, you have 8 of them, right? You have ten children, don’t you? Do you think you could tell us why you wrote this book in the first place?

PATTI: “Why” is a funny question for a writer, as I’m sure you know. It’s all about inspiration.  When I started writing, I never could have told you where the story was going or how it was going to end. It seemed to unfold as I wrote.   That being said, there was also a personal desire on my part to explore the questions and confusion related to prayer.  People that lose their faith, often do so either because they stopped praying or because they felt their prayers went unanswered.  Parents tell their children that God hears our prayers, but it is a much tougher lesson to teach that we don’t always get what we want when we pray.

DONNA-MARIE: I’m glad that you wove your exploration of prayer within your book to help the young understand the power of prayer as well as to demystify it for them. I’m sure that you have experienced both joys and challenges in raising a large family. Would you like to share any of your experiences with us? Perhaps something that may have inspired you to write this book in the first place?

PATTI: Yes, raising a large family does affect your view of the world. Life is busy, full of activities and full of questions as you try to explain life to your kids and model it in a Godly way to them.   Even though the story is fiction, it was also very much a slice of my life.

DONNA-MARIE: I thought so. Do you see big differences in your boys growing up versus your girls?

PATTI: Oh, yes.  My boys seem to never stop moving. They are always up to something to, which makes parenting a challenge.  When I just had four boys, a complete stranger once came up to me and said with a chuckle: “Don’t worry, when they are teenagers, boys are much easier than girls.” My girls are 16 and 13 now.  They actually are pretty good kids although once in a while we will butt heads.   After I had 4 boys, I felt so blessed to also have the experience of dresses and dolls.  But then getting 2 more boys has once again infused our home with a second chapter of fun and activity (and broken things!)

DONNA-MARIE: God has certainly blessed you! I know you have other books too. But, did you enjoy the writing process of this book, Patti? You said this book is very much “a slice of your life.” Did it perhaps come naturally from any real life experiences within your own family when you were growing up or from your family now that you may want to talk about?

PATTI: I wrote the first draft of this book 15 years ago.  My three oldest boys served as the model for the characters.  I always knew how my characters would act because I pinned their personalities on my own kids.  They absolutely loved reading it back then as it came along because they felt it was a story about them. Now, my oldest are 26, 24, and 22. They loved reading it again when I pulled it out and brushed it up. My son, Luke who co-authored the Amazing Grace for Survivors with me, went over it and offered suggestions. I had to laugh when he wrote about one line: “Put in an exclamation point there. I would have said that with an exclamation point.”

DONNA-MARIE: What do you hope your readers will take away from this book?

PATTI: I hope they will live the story. It’s an example of praying even when you don’t understand where God is taking you. It’s also an example of living the Christian life with prayer and trust, or at least trying to trust when it’s hard.  Amid disappointments, confusion, the challenge of wanting to belong and wanting to feel important, bad choices, hard choices, and coming to grips with what is really important–these are all issues that are explored and I hope the reader will find guidance through the story.

DONNA-MARIE: How about the parents? Do you hope to reach them too in some way?

PATTI: This is a fun read-out-loud book with your kids. I often read to my kids at bedtime long after they are old enough to read themselves. Sharing a book together always lends itself to a shared experience and encourages conversations about these topics.  Even if the parents don’t also read it with their children, they can trust that it’s a book that reflect their own values and be one more tool to reinforce the lessons they are trying to pass on.

DONNA-MARIE: Is there something else you’d like to share with readers that I haven’t touched upon?

PATTI: Yes, although the book can just be an enjoyable read, I’ve also put vocabulary and discussion questions for each chapter at the back of the book so it can be used in classrooms and homeschools.

DONNA-MARIE: Could you please tell us a bit more about that?

PATTI: I put vocabulary and discussion questions for each chapter in the back of the book. My thinking was that this gives the book the additional quality of being well-suited for school use either in the classroom or at home. Even if it’s just a parent reading it with a child or a child reading it alone, the questions can be used to open up dialogue with kids on aspects of life and faith. As for the vocabulary, most of the words are frequently used among adults but teachers usually discover that kids don’t often have a grasp on words that we take for granted as being understood.

DONNA-MARIE Finally, Patti, how can we get your book?

The book sells for $9.99.  You can ask your local bookstore to order it or you can go to the Bezalel Website at http://www.bezalelbooks.com/ .  Bulk orders for classroom use are also available by emailing the publisher Cheryl Dickow at cheryl@bezalelbooks.com.

DONNA-MARIE: Thank you very much for your thoughts, Patti. I pray that your book does well and helps to inspire countless families!

PATTI: Thanks Donna for doing this interview. We once both shared with each other what a blessing it is to be writing Catholic books.  It’s part work, part mission and very rewarding and fun as well.

DONNA-MARIE: Yes, it is such a blessing, very rewarding and fun too! Patti, it’s been enjoyable hearing about your writing process and learning more about your book. Thanks again. God bless you!

Copyright 20010 Donna-Marie Cooper O’Boyle

Mary’s  “Yes” to God’s pro-life plan for her and our world dramatically changed history forever. Mary’s words, “Be it done unto me according to thy word” was absolute – it wasn’t hesitant or mediocre in any way. Mary didn’t even stop to consider what others might think of her. She was unwed when the Arch Angel Gabriel announced the news to her, after all. Yet, that faithful Jewish young lady put her faith fully in God’s plan for her life and was obedient to every detail that unfolded since that momentous occasion.

It was at the foot of her Son’s Cross that Mary became Mother of the Church and really our mother too. “Here is your Mother,” Jesus said from the Cross (Jn 19:26-27). He entrusted Mary to John and John to Mary. The disciple John actually represented the whole Christian community, so Mary became the Mother of the whole Church at her Son’s request. She became the new Eve (Jn 19:26).

We can learn so much from our Blessed Mother during our mothering. Mary may seem to be very far away and even unapproachable. But this couldn’t be further from the truth. We can call on her through simple or formal prayers to her and she will mother us and lead us to her Son, Jesus. We can pray to imitate her virtues.

As mothers busy about many things, we can pause, even momentarily throughout our days to lift our hearts in prayer. The beautiful prayer of the Rosary keeps us connected with the Blessed Mother and her Son, Jesus as we contemplate the Gospels while the beads meditatively slip through our fingers and we pray for the graces we need to continue our mothering.

In Bits and Pieces

Many times our hands are occupied with the care of the children and our household so we are unable to hold our beads to pray. At times like these, our beads may be in our pocket and we pray the Rosary in bits and pieces, one decade at a time, sometimes counting the Hail Mary’s on our fingertips. Other times we count our baby’s toes as we nurse him or her in the night. The acts of service to our families, driven by the love we have for them is the holy glue connecting our decades together to form at least one complete Rosary that we can offer to Mary and Jesus before the day is done. We can all attest, I’m sure, that sometimes it’s not until we are on our weary knees before we climb into bed that we can finally pray our closing Rosary prayer. We need to remember that God knows our lives. He made us the busy Moms! So, let’s not worry about what may appear as lost time in prayer. We can pray through our service to our family as long as we offer all of it to God.

In my book, Catholic Prayer Book for Mothers (Our Sunday Visitor, 2005), I wrote a little prayer to Jesus and the Blessed Mother about a mother’s prayer of the Rosary. It’s called, The Rosary, One Decade at a Time:

“Because caring for my family

Demands my full attention, Please, Lord, accept my Rosary

One decade at a time.

When the children are fed and dishes washed

And baby is asleep

I can borrow some time now to kneel down

And pray a decade of the Rosary.

And later, as I sit and rock and nurse my baby,

My heart goes out to You, my Lord,

As I recite the second decade.

When my baby cries and I attempt to calm her,

My fingers will be a substitute

For the next ten beads of the next decade.

After dinner, I can gather my flock

To kneel together for family prayer.

We will recite a decade along with our evening prayers.

Finally, when the day is finished,

And all are in bed,

With a quiet sigh,

I settle down and complete my Rosary to You.”

Amazing Opportunities for Grace

Our first responsibility, as we know, is to our families in a myriad of ways and we also strive to fit the prayers in wherever we can at every opportunity our Lord allows. But we must also be content knowing that it is through our acts of loving service and sacrifices of our time and energy in the care of our families that we earn the most valuable graces. Everything we do can be offered to God through our loving hearts. We’re so fortunate to have been blessed with a vocation in which we have amazing opportunities to earn grace and help to sanctify our families. God is so good to us!

In between our sometimes broken or interrupted Rosaries that we string throughout our days, we can offer short aspirations to our Blessed Mother – “Please dear Mary, help me in my mothering” or “Guide me please, dear Mary, to come closer to your Son, Jesus.” Mary is powerful and will protect our families. Since she knows all about motherhood, she will indeed help us in our mothering. We should get in the habit of praying to her often.

Years ago, when I was on complete bed rest due to a hemorrhaged uterus, Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta (whom I knew at the time) instructed me to pray a very simple but powerful prayer, “Mary, Mother of Jesus, be a Mother to me now. “ Notice the key word, “Now.” It’s a great prayer to use when calling upon our Blessed Mother when we are in a dire need of her at any moment – and even when things are calm, we welcome her loving presence near.

My doctor initially thought that I was miscarrying because I had three previous miscarriages and the hemorrhaging during this pregnancy did not look good. I prayed the prayer that Blessed Mother Teresa taught me throughout my high-risk pregnancy, wore the Miraculous medal that she gave me, and kept watch over my baby in all of my sonograms (the only time I was allowed a reprieve from bed rest). I watched with great interest the little, vulnerable unborn heart beating away, expressing its precious life to me. My own heart was intensely thankful and rejoiced each time I saw my unborn baby. Blessed Teresa also told me that “The Blessed Mother has helped others, she will also help you.” She was right. My tiny unborn baby survived that pregnancy and my daughter, Mary-Catherine is now eighteen-years-old. We’re counting our blessings.

We know that we will never accomplish what our Blessed Mother has, or be able to come close to her holiness, yet we are also called to holiness in the sublime role of raising our children. Our Mother Mary gives us so many attributes and virtues to emulate in our vocation as a mother. We can look to Mary and realize that her deep faith was really the foundation of her holiness. We can also remember that Mary was human like us and needed to pray so that she would be unwavering in her faith, just as we mothers are called to do. Mary’s faith is the same gift that is available to us. We can ask Our Lord for the gift of an increasing faith and ask Mary to be a mother to us, guiding us closer to her Son Jesus.  What better way to get closer to Jesus than through His mother?

As far away or unapproachable as Mother Mary may seem to us at times, she’s actually much closer than we think. She’s with us and assisting us in our domestic churches. Let’s not forget to ask her for help though. Let’s be sure to invite her into our homes. If you haven’t started to pray the beautiful prayer of the Rosary with your family yet, begin today with just one Hail Mary prayed together after “Grace Before Meals” is said at your dinner table. Then, build upon that, putting your family under the motherly care of Mary.

“Roses For You”

Dear Blessed Mother, please accept my motherly tasks this day

As a little act of love. Let them be as roses to be put at

Your feet, one by one.

I pray that by the end of the day, there will be an

Enormous bouquet to adorn your feet. Amen.

Blessed Mother Mary wants to mother us all. Mary, Mother of Jesus, be a Mother to me now!

This article originally appeared on the TORCH website (www.torchhomeschooling.org). Traditions of Roman Catholic Homes (TORCH) is an association of lay faithful established to promote homeschooling among Catholic families and to support those families who are engaged in providing their children’s primary education at home.

Copyright 2009 Donna-Marie Cooper O’Boyle

Our late dear Pope John the Great expressed his deep and brilliant understanding of the human heart quite often in his encyclicals, letters, and to his audiences. In describing the many faceted duties of parenthood, he said in Mulieris Dignitatem (On the Dignity and Vocation of Women): “The eternal mystery of generation, which is in God himself, the one and Triune God (cf. Eph. 3:14-15), is reflected in the woman’s motherhood and in the man’s fatherhood. Human parenthood is something shared by both the man and the woman. Even if the woman, out of love for her husband, says: ‘I have given you a child,’ her words also mean: ‘This is our child.’ Although both of them together are parents of their child, the woman’s motherhood constitutes a special ‘part’ in this shared parenthood, and the most demanding part. Parenthood – even though it belongs to both – is realized much more fully in the woman, especially in the prenatal period. It is the woman who ‘pays’ directly for this shared generation, which literally absorbs her energies of her body and soul. It is therefore that the man be fully aware that in their shared parenthood he owes a special debt to the woman. No program of ‘equal rights’ between women and men is valid unless it takes this fact fully into account.”

Dear Pope John Paul II was certainly a hero to mothers! Isn’t it so wonderful that he has asked men to consider all of woman’s services to life and take all of it into account? Further, he says that men actually owe a special debt to women! I find those words uplifting and amazing! Pope John Paul II so beautifully recognized and expressed what it means for a woman to give her body to God and to her husband so that it can be used to bring new life into the world. I love that Pope John Paul II was not afraid to acknowledge the fact that it is the woman pays directly with the selfless gift of her life and her own body. She is subject to wear and tear of body and spirit as she gives her “Yes!” to God to new life and the special role of her motherhood.

Gift of Body and Spirit

We can certainly understand the physical wear and tear we mothers experience as we house our unborn infants within our bodies and stretch beyond the point we imagined our bodies could possibly extend, and as we are sometimes subject to morning sickness, as well as the kicking and poking of little feet up under our rib cages keeping us up at night, and even sometimes when facing precarious health issues.

What about the wearing down of our spirits too? Yes, we women “pay” for bringing forth new life and the mother’s role in parenting is realistically the most demanding position in many ways. To add to that, our braising culture batters and bombards women with many misleading and confusing messages causing them at times to doubt their divine purpose in their vocations of motherhood. Even during an economic recession when jobs are difficult to be secured, our society still looks down their noses mockingly at the role of a faithful mother who is dedicated to raising her family within the guidelines of holy Mother Church. Our society and much that comes through the secular media imply that mothers should be searching for something much more satisfying than dishes, demands, and diapers within the confinement of the walls of the home. We do know though know that a mother’s role at the heart of the home is immensely more than merely doing housework and caring for the myriad of demands that come with the territory of raising a family today. It is a mission that is actually responsible for raising little saints to heaven! What can be more important than this?

This is what Pope John Paul II was talking about when he said, “It is the woman who ‘pays’ directly for this shared generation, which literally absorbs her energies of her body and soul.” As well, women pay directly and dearly when they are ridiculed for their faithfulness and dedication because they have more children than the standardized one child or two children sized family that our society expects.

Discovering the Holy in the Ordinariness of Life

Yet, today’s Catholic mothers can rise above the onslaught of mixed messages and the downright belittling criticisms aimed at them from an ungodly culture and rally together to encourage one another in their roles as the hearts of their homes – actually on a journey together towards Heaven. Today’s Catholic mothers have many God-given gifts that are meant to be shared. They can come together physically or even through the Internet to compare notes, share ideas, encourage one another, and relish in their Catholic camaraderie. Some ways that this can be accomplished is through everyday encounters within our family and community and also in gathering together to study and share the faith. We can look to our Blessed Mother as a model to follow and the saints to emulate their virtues. A deep prayer life will give us the strength and faith to accomplish all that God wants to do through us. When we open our eyes to a new day each day, we should give our entire day over to the Lord and ask Him to use us for His glory. He will do the work and sometimes will give us the glimpses of amazing transformations occurring.

Pope Benedict XVI recently spoke about looking to the example of the saints to “provide a credible and comprehensive answer to the human and spiritual questions which give rise to the deep crisis of the contemporary world: charity and truth.” He also mentioned that to follow the saints’ example is not necessarily an easy task, but indeed a necessary one for authentic Christian life.

Especially during this month of September, when we celebrate Blessed Teresa’s feast day on the 5th and “inspiration day” on the 10th when she received her “call within a call” from our Lord to serve the poorest of the poor, I can’t help but be reminded of Blessed Teresa of Calcutta’s teachings about our own individual call to holiness. She told us again and again that “Holiness is not a luxury of a few, but a duty for us all.” How do we become holy? One certain way is by being faithful to the nitty-gritty details of our lives with prayerful and loving hearts. Blessed Teresa reminded us that small things done with great love are works of peace. As mothers, we know that our days are chock full of small loving acts, many times unnoticed by others around us. But we must be convinced in our hearts that these seemingly tiny acts of love are actually huge in God’s eyes. He is the one who placed us in the hearts of our homes. Every little act of love can be redemptive and holy.

Let us go forward, then, each day – confident in our vocations of motherhood, striving to satiate the thirst of Jesus in all whom God has put in our midst, starting first within our own families and when all are satisfied, reaching out into our communities. By doing so, we will be helping to sanctify our families and others by our examples of love.

Oh dear Lord, allow us to be YOUR love to our families and others and help to bring countless souls to You! Amen.

(This article first appeared in the TORCH website for homeschooling families and is used by permission.)

Copyright 2009 Donna-Marie Cooper O’Boyle

I am running a week of posts at my blog, fun, information, and also a contest this week to help get us ready for back-to-school. I say “help us get ready” because this week may be more about the parents than the kids! We’ll see how it unfolds. As I stated in an earlier post, I will enter every one’s name who comments here this week or who is a contributor of a guest post into a drawing to win a copy of my new book: Mother Teresa and Me: Ten Years of Friendship which will be released in September some time and another winner will receive a beautiful Rosary that can be given to your college bound “child” or used yourself for the many Rosaries you will be praying for him or her (or for more than one child in college at a time as in my case).

On Wednesday, I’ll be posting a new radio segment in which Teresa Tomeo and I will be chatting about back-to-school. Please feel to visit and comment on my posts this week. Please also feel free to spread the word to you friends and please link and share.

First off, let’s remember that we can still have a great influence on our college-bound “kids” even from afar. That’s when we are praying like St. Monica unceasingly for them. We can even fast and pray for them being mindful that they are being exposed to many other kinds of teaching that will be contradictory to the way we have raised them. This is when we hope and pray and really have to trust that the foundation we built for them based on prayer and the tenets of our faith will be strong in their hearts.

For the younger ones, we have to make it our business to know what’s being taught to them at school. We are of course their first and fore most educator according to our holy Mother Church. Even Catholic schools may and do unfortunately teach erroneous things. We must be aware, vigilant, and proactive in our children’s education. I’ll have a guest post from a Mom whose blog is all about purity or lack thereof in the Catholic classroom.

I will be featuring some excellent guest posts here this week pertaining to kids off to school, home-schooling, college, and much more. Be watching for a college survival guide this week – for the parents, not the “kids!” Also, be watching for my article about back to school coming up in September’s Canticle magazine.

I’ll be back later today to post some more. In the meantime, please pass the word about our week here and feel free to chime in with a comment about what you’re going through right now or maybe your own back-to-school traditions.

Copyright 2009 Donna-Marie Cooper O’Boyle

This post recently appeared on Donna-Marie’s wonderful blog View from the Domestic Church, and is reprinted with her permission.

I was just chatting with Teresa Tomeo on our “Mom’s Corner” segment which was about traveling light this summer. We reminisced about our very simple summers of our childhood.

A recent Gospel reading (Mark 6:8) struck me which speaks to us about traveling light:

“He ordered them to take nothing for their journey except a staff; no bread; no bag; no money in their belts…” This reminds me so much of Mother Teresa and her full surrender to God’s providence.

I’ve been thinking about the family and summer and about how we should try to keep things simple, but pleasant and fun. Sometimes, I think we may have grandiose ideas about what we will accomplish and what lavish vacations we may take. I feel that we can set ourselves up for disappointment.

Some of us will not be traveling this summer due to economic hardships – some are out of jobs and are worried about how they will keep their houses, never mind going on vacation.

I gave an example on the show about how a simple scenario – a park setting and a sunny day, a blanket and two sandwiches opened up a wonderful time for an older daughter and me which we enjoyed just recently. The simple pleasures, right?

What are some things we can do?

~Take day trips

~Go to the park

~Visit the library

~Enjoy fun times in your own back yard

~Plan a pilgrimage to a shrine or basilica, talk about the faith en route, pray a decade of the rosary, visit the church or shrine and explain Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament to the kids. Talk about the saint whose shrine you may visit. Do some research when you get home or prior to your trip.

~Visit the Blessed Sacrament often throughout the summer and bring the kids – Jesus told us, “Bring the children to me…” Work on ways to keep the kids praying and connected to God this summer.

~Spend TIME with one another. This is the best gift and never ceases to become the best experiences.

I’ll be posting recipes for food and fun times throughout this week. Stop back each day. I will have guest bloggers too. AND, watch for my book contest!

Teresa and I also spoke about my new book to be relased in September – “Mother Teresa and Me: Ten Years of Friendship.” You can pre-order from my website: Donna Cooper O’Boyle.Com

What are ways that you keep your summers, safe, fun, and simple? Please do share!

God bless your day!

Click here to listen to Donna-Marie’s recent conversation with Teresa Tomeo

Copyright 2009 Donna-Marie Cooper O’Boyle

A life of prayer is necessary to come closer to Jesus and to understand God’s holy will for my life. Prayer and the many graces that are bestowed upon me in my vocation will ultimately give me the necessary strength to carry out my duties within my household, as well as to increase the love for my family.

It would be a lie to convey that a mother’s daily life is only one of blissful loving embraces and constant “warm fuzzies.” Motherhood is intrinsically beautiful, but while she is in the “trenches” with whiny demands, diapers, overflowing hampers of dirty laundry, and the constantly refilling kitchen sink, mothers know that the feeling of love for her family may not always emerge easily in every circumstance. It will, at times, come through the sacrifice of giving of herself and her decision to remain faithful to her vocation. A mother decides to love and to continue to love her family in God’s plan for her salvation and the salvation of her family. Through a mother’s loving service, God is at work sanctifying her soul when she thoroughly surrenders her heart to his holy will.

When life seems difficult within the family, I have recourse to the Blessed Mother who was human like me and will truly understand my problems. She will intercede for me; she is waiting to hear my prayers. Mothers can learn from Mary who is an example of one who listened to God and allowed the Holy Spirit to inspire and guide her. I can learn from Mary that a mother’s prayer is powerful. When I am asked to endure suffering or pain within my role as a mother, I can turn my thoughts to Mother Mary and ask her assistance and intercession. Throughout difficulties, and while trusting in God during particular situations within my homelife, I can meditate on Mary’s faithful trust in Our Lord and in the guidance of the Holy Spirit. When I experience the deep joy in my role as a mother, I can feel an affinity with Mary, who experienced deep joy in mothering Jesus.

Blessed Teresa of Calcutta taught me to say a very simple but poignant prayer to the Blessed Mother. She said, “Mary, Mother of Jesus, be a Mother to me now.” Let us invoke her often.

Let us also pray along with Blessed Teresa of Calcutta that the words in John’s Gospel, “love one another; even as I have loved you” will “not only be a light to us, but also a flame consuming the selfishness which prevents the growth of holiness”—so that love will permeate our vocation of motherhood.

“Holy Mary, Mother of God, our Mother, teach us to believe, to hope, to love with you. Show us the way to his Kingdom! Star of the Sea, shine upon us and guide us on our way!”—Benedict XVI (Spe Salvi (Christian Hope), November 30, 2007)

Dear Blessed Mother Mary, please open my heart to see the holiness within my vocation of motherhood. Please guide me each day as I guide my children towards Heaven. Help me to have the courage to strive to serve others as you did, rather than expect to be served. I pray that I may also be a “handmaid of the Lord.” I pray for the courage to say to the Lord, “be it done unto me according to Thy Word.” Teach me, please, dear holy Mary, and bring me to Your Son Jesus. Amen.

Copyright 2009 Donna-Marie Cooper O’Boyle

This passage is excerpted from Donna-Marie’s book The Domestic Church: Room by Room A Mother’s Study Guide and has been reprinted with the author’s permission.

I ask myself this because I know I will never accomplish what our Blessed Mother has, or even come close to her holiness. Yet all women are called to holiness—whether in the sublime role of raising children, as a wife, as a single woman, or as a woman religious. And Mary demonstrates attributes and virtues that all women can emulate, whatever their vocation.


Mary’s deep faith was the foundation of her great holiness. Even though Mary was the Mother of God, we should remember that Mary was human like us and prayed to be unwavering in her faith, just as we also are called to do. Mary’s faith is the same gift available to us. We can ask Mary to be a mother to us and guide us closer to her Son, Jesus.

A Faithful Heart

Wanting to imitate Mary’s virtues, we may try to figure out what made her tick. Images from our Catholic tradition and Scripture may come to mind. We may be reminded of Mary as a faithful Jewish girl praying with her people in Palestine for the coming of the Messiah, the fulfillment of God’s promises. Mary was familiar with Isaiah’s words that a virgin would conceive and bear a child called Immanuel—“God with us”—but never imagined that she would be that virgin.

At times, we find ourselves in situations requiring faith in God, but our humanness causes us to feel inadequate or to fear that we are not faithful enough. When I hemorrhaged at 10 weeks pregnant with my fifth child, I was required to have faith that God’s holy will would be fulfilled, whatever it would be.

My doctor told me that I was miscarrying and conducted an ultrasound to check on the baby. When the ultrasound revealed a tiny baby with a beating heart, I was ordered to stay on complete bed rest and just wait. The doctor added that he wished the miscarriage would hurry up, saving me from further anguish.

I shuddered at his words and chose to hope instead. I rested and waited and never stopped praying. My four children bustled around me as I did my best to stay still and have faith in whatever it was that God had planned for us. I knew Bl. Teresa of Calcutta at the time, and she instructed me to call upon the Blessed Mother and to wear a Miraculous Medal that she had given me. She reminded me to trust in Our Lord, stay close to Mary, and pray, “Mary, Mother of Jesus, be a mother to me now.”

Our prayers were heard, and after a long nine months Mary-Catherine was born! In retrospect, I can understand why Our Lord may have given me another reason to pause during that pregnancy: While I was kept still, I was inspired to write about motherhood. These reflections have since been published. As a busy mother with four children and another on the way, I might never have had a spare moment to sit down to write! Our Lord knew what He was doing.

Humble Generosity and Courage

We know that when the angel Gabriel visited Mary with the announcement that she would become Jesus’ mother (Lk. 1:26–39), the humble teenager found it difficult to believe that it was she, a simple girl, who was chosen by God. Taking the blessing to heart, Mary responded with her courageous “yes” to God.

Shortly afterward, her generous heart sent her on a journey into the hill country, pregnant and “in haste,” to help her cousin Elizabeth, who was much older and also expecting a child (Lk. 1:39). Mary surely prayed and reflected throughout her journey, while the blessedness of Jesus dwelled within her. After Elizabeth’s baby leaped in her womb upon Mary’s arrival, the two women embraced. Elizabeth praised Mary for her great faith, and Mary humbly responded with the words of the Magnificat, glorifying God’s holiness, justice, and mercy, and foretelling that all generations would call her blessed because of the great things the Lord had done in her (Lk. 1:46–55).

When we question our own ability to courageously answer God with our “yes” when He bids us to follow Him, we must remember that, as women, we are also blessed with generous and courageous hearts like Mary’s. Graces are available to us to be courageous and to respond with love in all situations within our vocations. Throughout our daily lives, we are presented with many opportunities to put our own needs aside and go “in haste” to help—to help our children, our spouses, our parents, our neighbors, our coworkers, or whomever God has put into our lives.

The Simplicity of Love

Mary was led on a donkey by her beloved husband, Joseph, in search of a place to give birth and faced only rejection by the innkeepers. Soon afterward, Jesus’ infant cries were comforted at His mother’s breast in a stable. Our King and Savior was born into poverty, resting in a wooden manger of hay—hardly what is expected for a King’s birth! Angels sent simple shepherds to Mary and Joseph to see their holy baby. Mary “kept all these things, pondering them in her heart” (Lk. 2:19).

When we women face rejection in one form or another, we can pray for the graces we need to continue on, just as Mary did at the inns and later, when she felt the sting of the rejection of her Son by the very people He helped.

We can imagine Mary throughout the hidden years, teaching Jesus on her knee in the warmth of their humble home. As Jesus grew, Mary surely encouraged her Son to help Joseph in his carpentry. Mary’s faith deepened in the cenacle of prayer that she fostered in the heart of her home.

Mothers, too, live through hidden years, raising their families and trying to remain simple. Especially when children are young, mothers may find themselves housebound with the care of the family, children’s illness, or infants too small to go out. Mothers can make their home a “domestic Church,” as Pope John Paul II and Pope Benedict XVI have spoken of, by praying within the home, teaching the children, and thanking God for the blessedness of their families and the opportunities to care for them.

“Do whatever he tells you”

At the start of Jesus’ public ministry, sympathetic that a bride and groom were without wine, Jesus’ mother told Him, “They have no wine.” While Jesus appeared reluctant to perform His first miracle, saying that His hour had not yet come, Mary confidently told the wine stewards to “do whatever he tells you” (Jn. 2:2–11). Mary’s initiative, intercession, and obedience ultimately nudged on her Son. Thus, the power of a mother’s love brought about Jesus’ first public miracle.

Women, as mothers, have within reach the tremendous power of prayer. A mother has the ability to influence her children for better or for worse. A faithful mother’s prayers will always be heard by God. In their intercessory role, faithful mothers are forever praying for the welfare of their children, both for those living at home and for those who are grown and may have strayed away from the Church. A mother’s prayers can be just as efficacious as those of our Blessed Mother and have the power to work miracles in human hearts.

The Heart of the Home

Women can learn from Mary as one who listened to God and allowed the Holy Spirit to inspire and guide her. She gave herself completely to the will of the Father. We learn from Mary that a mother’s prayer is powerful. When we are asked to endure suffering or pain within our vocation, we can turn our thoughts to Mother Mary, who was no stranger to suffering, and ask her assistance and intercession.

When it is difficult to trust in God, we women can meditate on Mary’s faithful trust in Our Lord, drawing strength from her as we pray for guidance from the Holy Spirit. When those of us who are mothers experience the deep joy within our role, we can feel an affinity with someone who has also experienced this deep joy in mothering Jesus.

Mary’s marvelous “yes” to God changed the entire world for all eternity. May all faithful women also courageously answer Our Lord, “Let it be done to me according to your word,” as they strive to live holy lives and raise their families in a cenacle of prayer fostered in their homes, pondering it all deep within their own hearts and setting an example for all women.

(This article appeared in Lay Witness magazine and is used with permission from the author)

Copyright 2009 Donna-Marie Cooper O’Boyle

I am excerpting a few parts from my book, The Domestic Church: Room by Room A Mother’s Study Guide for reflection today

This Chapter speaks of the fact that we as mothers may not feel so inclined to relate or even compare our own motherhood to the Blessed Mother’s motherhood, although we know that we should try to emulate her virtues. After all, Mary was the Mother of God! She was sinless! She was given the tremendous gift of carrying the Redeemer of the world in her womb! We may feel that she is far removed from our lives. Nevertheless, do we dare ask ourselves: “How can a simple mother like me aspire to imitate such an amazing Mother? And in imitating Mother Mary, will I glorify and please God?

A few short excerpts follow which may give us food for thought as we journey through this week of Lent…

“A mother can learn from Mary by asking for God’s grace to entrust herself completely to him with the full submission of intellect and will.’”

“For mothers, it means service first in her family and then reaching out to the world. At times, good intentions and a mother’s loving heart may cause her to stretch herself too much to administer to the needs of others outside her home. It’s wonderful and holy to want to help, yet mothers must remember that their love begins first and foremost at home. Being sure that her family is properly cared for before she embarks in other areas of ministry will ensure that she is not inadvertently neglecting her family in the process of helping others.”

“Silence can ironically be found in the busyness of a mother’s day as a mother learns to retreat to her heart even as she is involved in the care of her family. Within the “silence” of a mother’s heart, Our Lord can speak.”

“It is when she realizes that Our Lord actually wants to use her attentiveness to her family’s needs that she will understand the value and prayerfulness in performing little things with great love. The mother becomes an everyday example to her family as she raises her children in holiness and goes about with a prayerful heart, striving to emulate the Blessed Mother’s virtues.”

Perhaps we can spend at least a few moments to ponder and pray about our own vocation of motherhood and how Our Lord may be calling to our hearts.

(Excerpts above from The Domestic Church: Room by Room A Mother’s Study Guide, Circle Press, 2008, available at  http://www.donnacooperoboyle.com)

We read in the Catechism of the Catholic Church “When the Church celebrates the liturgy of Advent each year, she makes present this ancient expectancy of the Messiah, for by sharing in the long preparation for the Savior’s first coming, the faithful renew their ardent desire for his second coming. By celebrating the precursor’s birth and martyrdom, the Church unites herself to his desire: ‘He must increase, but I must decrease’” (# 524).

As we renew our “ardent desire” and prepare for the celebration of our Savior’s birth, in this period of waiting and anticipation, let’s take some time out to pray, meditate, and recall that Our Savior, Jesus was born in a simple stable into a poor family. We know that His mother, Mary and stepfather Joseph led a challenging life and were initially shunned because of Mary’s pregnancy and then turned away from a suitable place in which to give birth; being forced to seek shelter in an animal’s home instead.

Ironically Simple and Quiet

For centuries, prophets, succeeding one another in Israel, had announced Jesus’ coming. Yet, our Savior’s birth took place very humbly and quietly; hardly what one would expect for a King’s birth—a holy occurrence of extreme magnitude. Humility, simplicity, holiness and silence surrounded the Holy Family in Bethlehem. Baby, Jesus rested His Sacred head on a bed of straw in a simple manger when He was not on his mother’s breast. Common shepherds were the first witnesses to the breathtaking awe-inspiring event of the birth of the Messiah.

Heaven’s glory, so deserving of a posh setting and splendor with trumpets sounding, was made manifest in sheer poverty. Amazing! And as we await our Lord’s birth in this season of quiet and anticipation, most of us are surrounded not with the blessing of simplicity and silence, but instead, with glitz and glitter, noise, bold advertising, and even shoving and fighting for parking spaces at malls in a race for sale items, the latest iPod, or cell phone. Our holy season has been reduced to a preoccupation about whether or not we can manage to get our hands on a Wii Nintendo system or some other “needed” electronic item before it’s sold out, rather than striving to come closer to Our Lord in prayer—such a severe contrast to the reality of Jesus’ birth—of the true meaning of His coming to us in the form of an innocent Child.

Focus on the Essential

We do know that to enter the kingdom of Heaven we must become like a child. Jesus did this literally for us. We need to humble ourselves to become little. We absolutely need to make time for prayer. Visits to the Blessed Sacrament will bring us very close to Jesus and give us amazing peace, grace, and strength for our journey. When we cannot get out, prayer within our domestic churches is just fine and pleasing to God. Retreating deep into our hearts, seeking our Lord throughout our busy days of Advent will keep us in communication with Him and help us focus on what is essential during a season of hustle and bustle.

While we take time out during what is meant to be a season of quiet, to pause and contemplate, what will we learn about the mystery of our Lord’s simplicity and humility wrapped in swaddling clothes and laying in a manger? What can we do to recapture and rekindle this holy time of year amid the chaotic atmosphere of our time? Let’s begin in our families, slowing down to pause and pray, seeking moments throughout our days to offer our hearts fully to God. Taking the time to give of our time which is really a priceless gift and not something we will find at a shopping mall.

Parents should make the time for prayer within their families no matter how busy they feel they are. Teaching children to take even a moment out each morning to greet our Lord, thanking Him for a new day, offering it all to Him, and asking Him to use them, will help transform an ordinary day into opportunities for grace and redemption. Parents should make use of the dinner table as a time of coming together, lighting the Advent wreath, praying together and enjoying each other’s company away from the busy world outside the doors of the home.

Lighting the Way

We can be a light to the world, to all around us, much like the star that drew the Magi to the Christ Child. Let’s think about what can we do or what changes we can make to become a light and lead the way for others. How can our words and actions, by God’s grace, help to convert hearts? Let us pray that we will draw others to Jesus because they see Him living in us. The light within us—Christ’s light—will draw others to the blessedness of our Christianity.

“Only when Christ is formed in us will the mystery of Christmas be fulfilled in us. Christmas is the mystery of this marvelous exchange,” we learn from the Catechism of the Catholic Church (# 526.) Let us pray that Christmas will be truly fulfilled in us all as we strive to become “little,” allowing Christ to live through us, lighting the way to Heaven.

copyright 2008 Donna-Marie Cooper O’Boyle

St. Clement of Alexandria wrote, “If you do not hope, you will not find what is beyond your hopes.” Hope makes me also think about trust and surrender, which go hand and hand with our belief and love of God. When we have hope in our hearts we will be putting our trust in Our Lord and will be able to put one foot in front of the other each day, serving Our Lord in the people He surrounds us with. To do this, we surrender our lives to God through prayer so that we grow closer to Him and deeper in holiness.

As we light our first Advent candle very soon, a flickering flame will represent hope. Let us pray that we can focus on preparing our hearts to open wider for Our Lord this Advent season. Let’s hope that we can do our best to turn to prayer at every opportunity during a great season of hope and promise.

Perhaps the craziness of the advertising frenzy that flashes around us is too distracting, and we feel that we cannot find peace to pray during a season that is meant to be quiet so that we can prepare our hearts for the Christ Child. The Liturgy of Advent emphasizes quiet, penance, prayer, but also hope, light, joy, and surrender. Let’s strive to find those things. Let’s delve deeper than the surface and also realize that God is in control of everything. We can find quiet even amid the hustle and bustle, by lifting our hearts to God with a great hope and faith that He hears us – that He knows our hearts – that He loves us more than we can imagine!

An awful lot can be accomplished if we allow God to work through us to sanctify our actions and prayers when we offer it all to Him in full surrender. Our Lord calls us to surrender our lives to Him – everything! Surrendering can be as simple as accepting our circumstances, whether it be our living conditions, our state in life, both little and big annoyances, sickness and suffering, being misunderstood, being criticized and belittled for our Christianity. God’s hand is mystically in it all. He knows what‘s going on.

Will we surrender to Him and allow Him to work through us and around us? He wants us to surrender our wills to Him and respond in love to all who are in our midst. Yes, even to love the one who has just stolen “your” parking space or the one who is constantly criticizing you. It’s not always going to be easy. Jesus never said it would be. However, they all need our love; a healing love that will give others hope.

Mother Teresa had said that “Calcutta is all over the world for those who have eyes to see.” Let’s open our eyes so we can minister to the needs of the people that because of God’s divine providence are near us in some way – our family, co-workers, friends and parishioners. Is there someone who needs our love?

When we learn to surrender our lives over to Our Lord, we will have lasting and true peace, and joy of heart. This joy and peace will radiate as a healing balm to others around us; offering them hope for their journeys. Let’s be that ray of hope by giving our hearts to God and allowing Him to work through us during this upcoming wonderful hopeful season of Advent and beyond!