The streets I so briefly walked upon in apprehension they sleep upon at night. I will never know or understand the past that lead them to their present but I pray for their future. I pray that they may someday find their way back to sobriety, belief, hope and God’s eternal graces. Each one has a story no two are the same; some from Virginia another Tennessee all on a journey mislead through the tragedies of the downtrodden, disrespected by a society of fearful, judgmental, unfeeling hypocrites who pray for the poor on Sundays but would not lock eyes with on the street. I did nothing but open my ears to their stories, my heart to their wounds they opened to me, my mind to understand there is no one “homeless man or woman” they are us, we are them; each with our past, our journey, each with our present, our future not knowing where that will lead and many with the faith in God that He will get them there one day.

And so they walk the streets, sit on the corners, push their carts and ride their bikes, talking to no one, begging for a buck, just saying hi, waiting… for compassion, dignity to be treated as we say we should treat each other waiting…for our eyes to meet their eyes so that we can view the eyes of Christ.  If you listen, if you look, if you truly open your heart you will see that he dwells within the homeless man or woman for he dwells within all humanity. And I saw humanity, smelled the stench, felt the pain and it was real, it was real.

Copyright 2010 Lori Hadorn-Disselkamp

We humans are like windows to each other. As parents we keep our children warm and safe from the outside elements of the world. As people of faith we allow the light of God to shine through us on to others in our lives. As friends we let the fresh air flow through our laughter, hugs, shoulders to lean on and love that we give so openly. As people who screw up daily, constantly getting the filth of the outside world on us we need the cleansing. We need to have our mistakes wiped away so that the light can shine through more brightly. We need to ask for forgiveness, we need to make amends for our wrongdoings; we need to then forgive ourselves and wipe the windows clean. When the windows are cleaned then they can function more fully to their full potential.

Lent is the perfect time of the year as Catholics to reflect on what we have done wrong throughout the year. Lent is a time of conversion. What habits in our lives bring the dirt that makes it so difficult to see the love of God more clearly? What parts of our lives can we change not just for 40 days but for a lifetime that will move us closer to God? This Lent we need to reflect on our sins and go to Reconciliation to be forgiven and absolved. Reconciliation is not just about confessing our sins but about moving closer to God. A sin is not just a bad thing we have done, it is any act that keeps us from God, any act that hides us and shames us from letting us accept God’s love fully. Yes, we need to confess to get out the filth but that is only the first half the second half is letting the light shine straight through our hearts so we can illuminate the love of God in us to others. So that others may recognize our close relationship with God and want to be a part of it. As people reconciled to God we are reaching for our full potential as Catholics and creations of God.

This lent ponder about the window and how you can clean it, open it and let the light of God shine straight through the glass that is your life, then you too can brighten the room and your life will shine brighter than any window ever could.




Copyright 2010 Lori Hadorn-Disselkamp

It is like that in life. How many of us are trying to find that balance? If we try to be the best we possibly can be at work we stay late and our mind is always on our work, we lean too far one way. If we put every thought and all of our time into our family our work can suffer, we lean too far the other way. How do we find a balance? It is a learned skill. I don’t believe the balance just comes naturally to anyone! I believe you have to try to ride that bike with balance daily. Jake learned by letting Ethan help him. It is easier to do it with help and guidance than all alone. Maybe God should be the one holding the seat of our bike. Maybe instead of getting on and trying to take off full speed we need to be conscious of God helping to get us balanced and then letting us go!

How often in your life do you feel overwhelmed and so stressed out you could explode? Is it from your work place or from your family life, committing too many extra activities, sports or clubs for your children? Think about one of those times you felt so stressed out for a moment. What was going on? Were you leaning too far one way or the other? I think it is a daily task to stay up on that bike and we need to recognize that, instead of just thinking it will all work itself out.

So today as you climb back up on your bike try not to lean too far one way or the other and let God be the one to help you learn the skill of balance by giving him some of your time. Say a prayer and ask that He help provide you with the wisdom to know when you are leaning and the strength to give Him a chance daily to hold on to the seat of your bike. When we learn to let God help us we can acquire the fine skill of balance in our daily lives.


Copyright 2010 Lori Hadorn-Disselkamp

Seated in the modest church, the opening song began, “Gather Us In.” I could not help but chuckle when we sang in harmony with the wealthiest people in the United States, “Gather us in the rich and the haughty.” In the beginning the priest said “God calls us all to help the poor.” I began the Mass thinking about the irony of participating in a Mass with the richest of the rich when the Gospel was the beatitudes.

The homily was about an inner city Catholic School caught in the cross fire of thirteen gangs. Stories were told of the senseless murders of students in drive-by shootings and robberies and of the parents struggling to send their children to this school in hope that the education and faith in God will help them to escape their harsh reality. Moved to tears and witnessing another woman wiping her eyes, I finally felt it – the connection that is both human and Catholic. Although these people make more money in one year than my husband and I will in an entire lifetime, they are still people of faith. On their knees they pray to God; they receive the body of Christ just as I did; they are the body of Christ, just as I am.

As we climbed into the car to continue the search for the Hollywood sign, I told my husband “This Mass is why we came to Hollywood.”

In all places there are rich and poor, but if we can work, pray, and take care of each other, then together we can do the work of God. God sends us on journeys, and many times we cannot understand the reason or His timing, but if we open our hearts and our minds He will reveal the truth, the light, and the way to each of us.

Copyright 2010 Lori Hadorn-Disselkamp

Our world today is about the bottom line, how many customers we can move through quickly and cheaply? We have ATM’s that are open 24 hours a day with no human contact. We have self scanning lines at grocery stores; one can go shopping for an hour and literally speak to no one, except the person who is paid to say goodbye and thank you with a voice like a robot! We go to the gas station and pay at the pump. We have on line billing, banking & shopping. We have friends on line at Face Book that we never have to see in person or hear their voices. We exist behind sound bites of 140 characters or less on Twitter, people posting constantly but rarely responding to anyone! Our world has become abundantly convenient and less human, with less contact and fewer relationships with others.

Gone are the days when we knew our banker by her first name; when we talked to the grocer about his family and the specials for the week. Does anyone know their hairdresser or do you go to Great Clips where you get the person who is ready to cut somebody’s hair, anybody’s hair? There was a time not that long ago when we would say hi and converse with the people we purchased from and knew in our community. That time is slipping away quickly because of the almighty dollar.

Well I am hanging on by a thread and I was willing to leave the bank after waiting and come back again just to see my banker Katie. She is a person not an ATM not someone quoting prices that knows nothing about me. She is a person with a family and children. I have made a friendship with her and she cares about my children. We spent an hour with her, me and my four children starting bank accounts. Around the dinner table that night each of my children said they really liked “Katie our banker”. It is important to me to teach my children about relationships with people not just family and friends but the people in our society that we will work with, the banker, mailman, barber etc. Without these relationships their people skills in life will be lacking and that will affect many aspects of their future. The most important aspect is the relationships they can build and people they will come to care for in all different walks of life.

Businesses sacrifice relationships for volume and money. What they have forgotten is that people need people and relationships. My family will be forever loyal to our bank because of my relationship with Katie and her relationship with my children will carry on their loyalty in the future.

Thanks Katie for being our banker but most of all for being our friend!

Copyright 2010 Lori Hadorn-Disselkamp

What are you personally searching for at this moment in your life?  Are you searching for a quiet place to escape the noise of your toddler beating on his pots and pans?  Are you searching for peace of mind that allows you a chance to breathe in and exhale slowly?  Are you searching for that magic cure to make discipline for your 6 year old truly work?  Are you searching for the perfect job where you can balance family and work?  Are you searching for your soul mate a person who will love you unconditionally and spend your life with?  Are you searching for comfort through financial stability?  Are you searching for an understanding of your very existence?  Are you searching and you have no idea what for?

We are all searching constantly. The search is what helps us to grow and discover ourselves more deeply.  Sometimes throughout the search we find dead ends that we thought would lead to happiness.  When we reached that final destination like the perfect job and realized it did not complete us.  When we found the perfect spouse and felt 80% full but there was still more to find.  When we finally reached that financial stability and realized that things didn’t feel our deepest needs. When our children starting to listen to us and we still felt a bit empty.

We as humans search within our realm of reasoning.  Nothing will fill us all the way up except for the love of God; not the perfect job, not the perfect love of our life, not the excellent children, and all the money in the world cannot touch what we are truly searching for. We are searching for; acceptance, unconditional love, a reason to live, a purpose in this life and how to live our lives.  The search should be embraced.  If we were handed these answers we would not appreciate or understand them.  Each time we search we find a piece of God in our spouse, in our children, in our co-workers in our lives.  One thing will never make you complete.  It is the culmination of the search the truth you seek you will find in the eyes of God.  The desire of your heart will be complete when you one day merge into eternal existence with God. Here on earth in our everyday lives we will continue to search and we will find God and happiness and goodness if we seek it out.

So keep on searching but instead of looking only at the goal take wisdom from the people, the feelings and the knowledge you learn along the way. For one day the search will be over.



Copyright 2010 Lori Hadorn Disselkamp

Art by Anna, 8 years old

Where do you seek your happiness?  Is it on payday when your direct deposit reaches your checking account and you know the bills will be covered?  Is it at work when you know you have done an outstanding job on a project?  Is it in the face of your child when he/she gives you that toothless grin that causes you to have a perma grin (permanent smile you just can’t wipe off your face for awhile, my husband and I came up with that word when we 1st fell in love with each other)?  Is it when your child runs to you with excitement and joy because he/she found a worm in the dirt or just did something for the very first time?

We seek happiness out in all aspects of our lives.  If you look for it you will find it.  Especially within the passions you hold in your life.  Whether your passion is in your career, your children, your husband, your family, your gardening, your cooking or even how well you clean.  We all have different passions in our lives that make us each unique.  I don’t think that happiness is just in one place or in one item that we believe if purchased will just complete us.  I think happiness can be found in anything around us and more importantly any person around us.  If we open our eyes to the joy in our lives and stop concentrating on what needs to be fixed, finished, better or completed and just see what is now and how good it all really is right this second.  We can find happiness in the here and now instead of in the then and there.

Today as you go about your daily routine at work or at home take a moment to think about your passions. What makes you smile and where you seek your happiness?  Give yourself permission to have a permagrin even if that sink is still dripping, or the grass is still not cut or that one project you keep nagging your husband about is still staring you right in the face.  Just take a second and spend a little more time on that passion or with that person or people today and seek out your happiness in your family, friends, and coworkers, loved ones and in God.





Copyright 2010 Lori Hadorn-Disselkamp

Remember to Keep Holy the Sabbath Day.  Exodus 20:8

Hey God, It’s me Lori,

Please give me the patience and love to take my children to church. So they can see you within our church community and become a part of that community.

Taking my children to Church…

Expose your children to your religion.  Take them to Church with you.  In this day and age I have spoken to so many parents that say, “I just can’t seem to get anything out of my Church Service when I take the kids with me.”

Let me just say IT’S NOT ALWAYS ABOUT YOU!

When you become parents you split it all, if not give 75% – 99% away for a reason.  Yes, there are many times I have taken my four children to Church with me and not heard the readings or most of the homily.  My husband and I decided to do it for our family and our children.  You do not learn how to behave in Church by not attending Church.  I actually asked our priest long ago if he minded crying at times, he said “I would rather hear a child crying during my homily than not have that child present with their family.”

Church to me is a family affair.  When you take your children to Church of course they don’t understand everything, they are little.  However, as they ask you questions during Church instead of shushing them, whisper the answers and give explanations for what is happening and they will learn more.  It is not always easy attending Church with your kids. It is trying but I feel the reward is that your children see Church, not just praying at home, is a necessity.  There are many elements that contribute to one’s faith and Church. The body of Christ is not made up of bricks and a fancy building but by the people inside the building, the community learning, praising, praying, and participating by singing and being together.  Our Church’s should be full of children who will continue to be Church in the future not just the older people who no longer have anyone to shush anymore.

When you become a parent your faith and religion are no longer just between you and God.  God has created these little beings and wants you the parent, first to teach this child your belief in God and bring them to others to learn even more.  It all begins at home.  It should not begin the first day of Kindergarten in a Christian or Catholic School, or the first day of Sunday school.  Your child needs to know your faith long before they enter school.  It is not always comfortable to talk to your child about God.  Remember this, your child thinks you are the center of his/her universe and you are his/her first teacher.  Your child loves you unconditionally what you say, sing or pray doesn’t have to be perfect or always make complete sense.  It just needs to come from your heart and touch their heart.

Sometimes I baby-sit for one of my cousin’s children.  She has four children ages:11, 9, 5 & 3 and I love them. So to give their parents a break for a date I let them spend the night a few times each year.  When I do this I have 8 kids. I love to take them to Church with our family.  They are similar to my family because they do not miss Church on Sunday for any reason other than illness.  So her children know how to behave during Church.  I have only taken them twice but you should have seen the pride in my eyes as I walked 8 kids across the front of Church to find a seat.  They were excellent all 8 of them and it’s not because they are perfect children, they are not!  It is because their parents believed that as babies you bring your children to Church with you and teach them how to behave and explain what is happening.  I guess it’s like bragging rights to me. I like to brag that I can handle 8 kids at Church but the truth is that their parents and myself as well as my husband have taken years to cultivate good behavior and respect for Church in our children.  It can be done.  It takes a commitment on the part of the parent or parents.  You have to make a decision that you are going to follow through with this every week.  Inconsistency will kill it all!  As in every part of teaching your children how to behave, if they see that things you say will not be followed through. Why should they do the right thing, they won’t have any consequences.  If you say to your children we will being going to Church from now on and then only do it once in awhile they won’t take you seriously.

The following is a list of 12 tips that I have learned through my own experiences, for taking your children to Church with you.  Many of them seem obvious but I will state them anyway.

1)  Attend Church on a regular basis.

2)  Explain to your children way ahead of time, not just in the car when you are rushing to Church, how to behave.  Remind them in the car calmly how they are expected to behave.

3)  For the younger children we use rewards, call them bribes if you want.  It gives them an attainable goal and an endpoint. With my youngest to gauge the endpoint of the Mass I tell him how many songs are left and he counts them down throughout the Mass.

4) We make sure that everyone has gone to the bathroom before they enter Church.  Unless it is an emergency they are not allowed to go during Church.

5)  Do not sit the children who like to pick at each other or talk to each other together.  For little children 3 and under you can bring little books for them to look at. If you can purchase a few prayer books for children and specify that your child only use these books as Church books for Sunday, that makes the Church Service more significant to the child. I would not encourage parents to bring a bag of toys because they will think its play time and not pay any attention to the Church Service.

6)  Answer their questions about Church as they ask the questions.  If they actually ask the questions that means they are paying attention and you want to encourage that behavior.  Don’t worry about disturbing the people around you, just whisper the answers. If you just shush your child will most likely not ask any more questions about Church.

7)  With small children try to resist the urge to sit in the back of church because you will want to leave when things get bad.  If you sit in the front of Church the children can see what is happening better and may be more interested.

8)  Participate in the Church Service if you actually sing your child might feel more comfortable trying to do so.  Your actions speak louder than your words.

9)  When you feel anxiety and that everyone is staring at you because your child’s behavior seems bad, just remember at least half or more of these people are parents and have gone through it before.  They are just happy that you are trying your best and are so proud that you are there with your children.  I am not just saying that.  I can’t count the number of older people who have stopped me after Church and said “It is so good that you bring your children”.

10)  In trying to involve my children in the Church Service more, I read the scriptures before we go to Church.  Then right before the lector goes to the ambo, place where the word of God is proclaimed from, I say “Ok guys listen and see if she says a letter from Paul….”  They all listen and see if I was right.  It is a game we play but it gets them to focus and they learn some of the names of the books of the Bible and sometimes actually listen to the reading.

11)  DON’T GIVE UP! Just go through it over and over and over again and someday you will be able to relax and enjoy that your child will one day understand it and respect you for it.

12)  Our priest said in his homily recently “I can do all things with Him who strengthens me” I use that at Church often.

I urge you to try the above methods.  It is so worth taking them to church even if it is difficult.  It is also difficult raising them.  It’s not easy to put them in time out screaming at you.  It would be easier to give in to their tantrum for a little peace and quiet but where does that get them in the long run?  It’s the same with Church.  It’s easier to keep them at home but you have just neglected to give them religion in your community.  What you don’t teach them, they cannot learn!

This article was excerpted from Lori’s book, Just a Mom.

Copyright 2010 Lori Hadorn-Disselkamp

Do you have a cross hanging in your home somewhere?  An infant cross hanging in your baby’s nursery?  A crucifix displayed in your child’s room from First Communion or another special event?  Did you receive a cross as a wedding gift from a very dear grandparent that has since passed on to the next world?  Has the cross been up for so long that it is rarely noticed?

This cross has no emotional attachment for me and is not a crucifix but the value it holds, whether I am conscious of it each time I pass beneath or not, is unbelievable.  It is a symbol that represents my faith in God that He made the greatest sacrifice possible for me.  God did not sacrifice the life of His only son just for those people in Jerusalem over 2,000 years ago.  God made that sacrifice with little old me in mind, insignificant me, who lives in an ordinary house, raising children like other moms all over the world.  God did it for me, no one famous, no one who is going to change the world with earth shattering discoveries for the cure for cancer, no one who will make mankind forge peace forever.  Nope God did it for me, he loved me that much that He stretched out His human arms in Jesus between the heavens and the earth and gave up His spirit so that I may learn to love selflessly, so that my sins would be forgiven, so that I may someday reach God and become one with Him.

Now here is the most amazing, dumbfounding, mind-boggling part of it all HE DID IT FOR YOU AS WELL AS ME!! He did it not knowing if YOU would ever accept that gift, that sacrifice, that pure and selfless love.  He did it without a commitment saying You would believe, that YOU would ever follow Him or acknowledge Him or Love Him.  He did it for YOU without asking for anything in return.  What’s amazing is He would do it again if it were only for YOU!

When I look at that cross that is what it means to me.  What does your cross mean to you?



Copyright 2010 Lori Hadorn Disselkamp

The snow just barely covered the ground and bushes but it was beautiful.  There is something about snow that brightens everything, the white pristine color or just that it covers everything but hides nothing. Maybe that’s how God loves us.  He covers us in the pristine white of His Unconditional love for us but in doing so He gives us freewill, therefore He hides nothing with His love, the choice is still ours.  His love covering our lives does not weigh us down but brightens our being, lifts us up and makes us beautiful for all the world to see.  However the love of God does not hide the shape of who we are our personalities, the lives we lead or the choices we make.  Just as through the thin covering of the snow you can still see that a bush is still a bush and the ivy is still ivy, physically the only change is the color and a bit of weight.

God chooses to enter our lives in this subtle way daily if we let Him.  He will cover us in His love, through His wisdom, through the love of those around us, the positive messages we hear and, the feeling of His presence around us.  He does not want to change us. He created each one of us.  He wants to love and treasure us and I believe He wants for us to feel His love and use it to brighten others, to spread the love, to care for people the way He does for us.

God sent His only son so that we may have an earthly example of what God wants us to do in our lifetime.  How did Jesus live?  Did he walk up to people and insist that they change their evil ways?  No, he accepted the taxpayers and cared for the prostitutes, he loved everyone, with gentle, tender care.  He did not come into this world with the force of violence or threats of terror.  He taught us how to love and honor God by loving and honoring each other He spelled it all out through parables.  It is all in the gospels, the words that fell from the lips of God.

God does not want to blind you with His love and make you a totally different person.  He wants to love you so that you may truly love others.  He wants to cover you lightly so that you may gain his brightness and pass it on to the world.

Today accept the first snow from God,

May it cover you with His love and eternal Light,

May you share that love with others

As you are

Only better for having been loved by God.

Copyright 2010 Lori Hadorn-Disselkamp

All my life I have wanted to be a mom and I could always picture myself staying at home raising children. However, my vision never included the children getting older than about 9 years old. Probably because all the children I babysat for were under the age of 9. I never pictured a time when my children would not share every single thought with me, but I have to respect his privacy, his autonomy. He wants to be his own person separate from me and that is completely normal and healthy. I am his mom not his bestest friend in the world. As I sit here and write this I am still pained by it. I tell you what, when they all leave and “empty nest” occurs I think I will throw myself from the nest! So how do I accept my children growing up?

Nothing can make the fact that my children are aging better. I guess it is one of those things in life I just have to accept. I am not big on change. I need to embrace each age that my children reach and not be wishing for the past or holding them in the past. It is about acceptance, true acceptance of this precious gift of life on loan to me as a mom from God. I must let my children grow and become their own person it’s what I want in theory. But the actual letting go is crushing to say the least. He is only 10, I still have plenty to teach him and many years with him but last night I just got a glimpse of the future and I guess I was not prepared for it. Who is prepared to watch their children really grow up? I know that God will give me the strength to be a good mom because no matter what his age I will always be his mom.



Copyright 2010 Lori Hadorn-Disselkamp

“God can!!”  Jake, age 4, replied with confidence.

“Yeah, that’s right”, Spencer, age 6, jumped into the conversation.

Aidan said “God is not a person.”

“God is a soul” replied Spencer.

Jake interjected, “He’s right there next to you.”

Spencer dramatically said, “Aidan you just stepped on God.”

“Yeah but I stepped on Him in a good way, I didn’t hurt Him.” replied Aidan in a very solemn voice.

“But he doesn’t make a sound” said Jake.

In a very quiet, knowledgeable whisper Spencer said, “The only way you can hear Him is in your thoughts.”

“I am going to blow up a tank now” Aidan said as the conversation jolted to an end.
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Listening to my children and Aidan, a child I babysit, have a conversation about God when they thought no one was listening was spelling binding to me.  Frantically I was jotting down exactly what was said, I did not want to misquote anyone.  Have you ever heard your child talk about God?  Not when prompted to about homework, church or while praying?  Well this was my first time and I was so proud I thought I was going to bust!

You can never be sure of exactly what is absorbed into those little sponge like brains or if everything you try to teach them just bounces off into oblivion.  Then you hear it, what you have been trying to teach them for years and it’s as though you can sigh with relief, they get it, they really get it!

Have you ever overheard a conversation between your child and one of their friends, when you literally heard a quote from yourself being used in a positive manner?  For instance “I would not want to jump off a bridge because all my friends do, I am my own person.”  There is nothing that can compare.  If our children actually listen, take in the information and then truly practice it… it’s like it was all worth it, all 300 times I said that.  Because it is worth it.  There will be countless times we will never see the end result of what we have tried so hard to teach our children.  So many times they will be put in situations when they will recall our voices and use that lesson from us to stay safe, and we will never know it.  Seldom will be the times we will ever see it come to fruition but for the one time we do we should embrace the moment, savor the second and let it inspire us to continue on our path of loving, teaching and showing our children the right direction.  It works even if we never see it, it is so well worth the time and effort it takes to help our children to grow, mature and develop into responsible, generous, loving, faithful adults and it is in good part because of the parenting we administer, all the grunt work, the commitment and dedication for our children.

Never stop teaching, loving, guiding and nurturing your children even when you feel like they have not heard a word.  Because one day you may be privy to a conversation I just overheard.  One that revealed to me my children believe that God is there, God is invincible and God talks with them, they believe for themselves.  They have faith – there is nothing more important than that to me; for my children to truly accept and believe in than God’s relationship with them, that God is a reality!



Copyright 2009 Lori Hadorn-Disselkamp

Can you imagine being pregnant knowing you were going to have that baby soon and traveling for days and weeks by foot and donkey?  Arriving and being told you could sleep in a barn.  Can you imagine having the baby, no doctors, not heart monitor machines, just you and your husband delivering a baby in an unsanitary barn with animals?  Can you imagine laying your precious baby in a wooden box that the animals eat from?  Can you imagine people you have never meet or seen before coming to see you in a barn right after you gave birth and they all want to see your baby and touch him?  Can you imagine Kings bowing before your baby and leaving you treasures in your poor life you have never witnessed?

Can you imagine being the mother of God?  Can you imagine saying yes to God for a path that would endanger your life; that would lead you in unknown directions?  Can you imagine listening to God so intently that He would choose YOU to do His work?

You don’t have to imagine you just have to listen.  Because although God is not asking you to be a parent to the Christ child He is asking you to do His will!

Will YOU listen?

All YOU have to do is listen!



Copyright 2009 Lori Hadorn-Disselkamp

The growth rings remind me of the wrinkles upon our faces and our parents and our grandparent’s faces.  Each wrinkle has a year behind it and we can count them but we will lose count for they fade and begin to blur a bit.  Those wrinkles, crow’s feet and laugh lines symbolize our many years.  So many people want to erase them, Botox and fill them in so that they can gain the years back or look like it.  It is difficult to deal with aging especially as a woman in the U.S.  The general public usually doesn’t care if a man ages or grays he becomes distinguished and respected.  Let a woman age naturally, gray showing and oh now there’s something to talk about!  Our culture values youth and beauty when we should revere age and wisdom.

We should be proud of our “growth rings”.  Each wrinkle we have acquired came from a significant time in of our lives.  Wrinkles on our brow from waking quickly to run and get the crying baby. Crow’s feet around our eyes from squeezing them so tightly when we knew we could not catch our child before they fell and we did not want to see it. Laugh lines about our cheeks from endless laughter from all of the crazy little things our children have done throughout the years that we should discipline but can’t help laughing at with our spouse.  Wrinkles all over our faces from the times we squeeze our faces worried and praying that our teens make it home every time they pull that car out of the driveway.  Baggy eyes from the unending up all night with the baby or praying that the struggles of our children will somehow be resolved.  Permanent lines where the permagrin (permanent grin from something extremely good) is from watching our children succeed at school, sports and life in general.  Each wrinkle, each misshaped bump in our skin representing our parenting should be remembered as growth and valued for having been given the gift of parenting.  They should not be devalued as less than beautiful.  What is more precious than a life well lived, lived to the fullest.

So today when you see an older person notice the wrinkles and reflect on the life he/she has lived and where they have come from.  Smile at that person for he/she has grown and deserves the respect that should come from living, aging and loving others.  Look in the mirror today and instead of disliking the obvious aging, appreciate the lines for they have formed who you have become a mom; who worries, prays, laughs and loves your children like no one else ever could.  Do not Botox the memories from your face instead embrace your age and wisdom for they are gifts given to you from God. In all parts of our lives we grow and mature and there is no shame in revealing our growth rings to the world for they are precious gifts.

Copyright 2009 Lori Hadorn-Disselkamp

“Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you.”

Tuesday morning the kids and I awoke to fog surrounding the house and neighborhood.  Looking out our early morning windows we could scarcely see the dim yellow of the street lights peeking out from their posts.  As the kids ran outside backpacks on ready for the walk to school they were full of questions about the settling fog.  Hands in the air feeling the moisture but not really seeing it except from a distance.  It was mysterious.  Spencer said, “It is a cloud that has touched down.”  Jake asked, “Are we walking through a cloud?”  Anna said, “You can’t even see the school building from here, it is lost in all the fog”.  The walk was full of curiosity and exploration running through the fog to see if any one of them could catch it.

As Jake and I wandered home from dropping the kids off at school we took a picture of the fog, the one you see above.  Fog is so much like our faith.  We have faith even though we cannot see God, or touch Him.  We can feel His presence like the moisture in the air about us but it will not puddle in our hands.  We get lost inside the fog and can only see what is right in front of us like the branches of the trees you see in the forefront of the picture.  When looking out a distance you just have to believe that the trees that were there before the fog still exist in the same place.

With God you just have to believe because your physical senses will most likely never witness God here on Earth.  Your soul recognizes God and feels His presence when you open your heart and mind to believing.  Your soul let’s you look beyond the fog and know with all that you are that God does exist and He is right there waiting for you in the distance where we cannot reach with our human hands.

How many times are we reaching endlessly trying to grasp an understanding for what we cannot understand?  How is it that we are standing in a cloud but cannot see it?  How many times are we asking for help for our lives but we don’t ask God instead we turn to the things of this earth to help us?  If we listen to our hearts, minds and souls in the silence they will direct you to God.

God is right there in the moisture of that cloud that surrounds you, He is also beyond the fog in the trees you cannot see for He has never moved from you since the day He created you He has been right there.  Today as you stand in that fog that weighs you down take a few moments to be in silence listen to your heart, your mind and your soul and pray this thought over and over again until you know with faith that it is true: “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.”

Copyright 2009 Lori Hadorn-Disselkamp

How many flower bushes do we walk past daily and the thought of looking for the butterflies does not occur to us?

How many “butterflies”- people in your life that are very comfortable blending into the background- do you personally know?  Little creations of beauty that God has graced our lives with?  Delicate, gentle and rare people in our lives, they do no harm but only give quiet love.  With wings like angels that are carried on the slightest breeze of life?  Precious and transparent, giving off only pure and radiant goodness?

They are all about us.  One has only to look.  They tend to blend in with the scenery and are missed all together all too often.

Who in your life is beautiful because you can see straight through to their soul?

Who in your life demands no attention, no fanfare, and is honestly modest?

Who in your life, past or present brings you calmness and a quiet peace by their mere presence?

Who in your life turns their life over to be taken by the breeze to where ever it takes them with no resistance?

Who are the butterflies in your life?

They don’t want to be noticed.

They need only to be.

Thank God that He has blessed our lives with such rare, delicate, transparent, beautiful “butterflies” to love and guide us on our journey.

Copyright 2009 Lori Hadorn-Disselkamp

As I stood waiting for Spencer to come out of school I was bombarded by his little body upon me. He immediately pulled his crumpled up baggie from his pocket and revealed his empty place in his mouth to me. He was so excited that he lost his first tooth ever. Because he lost it at school the teacher gave him a certificate stating this fact. Spencer being the clever boy he is put the certificate on display in his window so that the tooth fairy would not pass by the house without seeing that he lost his tooth. He carefully put the tiny tooth in its plastic bag under his pillow and drifted off to sleep that night. He awoke very early and as he slid his hand under his pillow he grasped the plastic baggie that was now filled with a one dollar bill. Oh the joy! He was jumping up and down running down the hall to tell me. “The tooth fairy came, the tooth fairy came! She must have seen my sign in the window.” The joy on his face was priceless.

“Amen, amen, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains just a grain of wheat; but if it dies, it produces much fruit. Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will preserve it for eternal life.

John 12:23-26

Spencer did not want to lose his tooth but in doing so it made room for his “shark tooth”. How many things in this life do we not want to die to? Sounds extreme doesn’t it, die to? Well an example in a mom’s daily life is dying to our wants not our needs. Wanting to have peace and quiet, wanting to read a book instead of play a board game with your child. Moms die to ourselves everyday by being selfless. If we as moms consider how often we die to ourselves daily we would be amazed. But in giving so selflessly we are not really denying ourselves we are learning to grow. I am not advocating dying to our needs; we need our meals, showers, sleep and at least a little peace and quiet to function. I am advocating dying to our wants. If you would much rather be watching TV but instead you chose to spend time with your child, it is not only your child who grows from the choice you do as well. Even though you put off something you wanted you showed your child he/she is your priority. You took time to get to know him/her a little bit better you grew in that relationship without even knowing it.

We as spouses die to ourselves every time we decide to do the dirty laundry again, to clean that bathroom floor to not go nuts on our spouse for not helping more often. When we decide not to say exactly how we feel at that moment but instead think that we are doing this out of love and it is ok to give selflessly. When we stop thinking so much about what we want and give instead we grow, we mature and we learn how to love more deeply.

How do you die to yourself daily, as a mom, as a spouse, as a friend? Think about the course of your normal day and pick out all the times you give selflessly. Reflect on how that giving effects those you give to as well as yourself. It’s worth it! It’s extremely painful sometimes but it is so worth it!

God sent his only son to teach us how to die to ourselves and to learn to love selflessly. It is against the grain of our culture but it is the right thing to do. From that selfless love you will gain more than you ever imagined you could. So don’t be afraid to lose that baby tooth it will be replaced by a permanent tooth. Yes, it may hurt and bleed a little bit but the reward is a permanent love in a growing and maturing relationship with God and those around you.



Copyright 2009 Lori Hadorn-Disselkamp

That is our way of life is it not.  We as humans label and define each person and situation we are involved with as a weed, unwanted, troublesome, and useless or as something we want and desire.  Those labels come from judgments.  Who among us is able not to judge?

“Stop judging, that you may not be judged.  For as you judge, so will you be judged, and the measure with which you measure will be measured out to you.”

Matthew 7:1

How difficult is it in our lives to just let others be without making a negative comment about it.  Why do we so often fail to see the inner beauty in others?

As moms we have absolutely no problem seeing through the unwanted behaviors of our own children and seeing their inner beauty.  Especially when others point out our children’s faults, we retaliate quickly with his/her best traits.  We can easily see through the troublesome unattractive qualities due to the immense love we have for them.  It’s the people we do not love that we find are unwanted, unattractive and many times troublesome.  We don’t want people in our lives that are so different from ourselves that we cannot understand them so we create a distance with our judgment of them.  We don’t want people in our life that appear to have a different set of beliefs from ourselves because they may question our beliefs and then we have to defend ourselves so we distance ourselves in self preservation.  We fear what we do not understand, what is very different and then we create a distance to keep us “safe” from the weeds of this world.

God sees the mushrooms as another flower, another creation of beauty with a necessity to His creation of nature.  Not one creation He has made is useless, unwanted or troublesome in God’s eyes.  Not one plant, NOT EVEN ONE PERSON!  God sees through the unattractive characteristics even past our sins, bad choices and wrongful desires.  God sees the good qualities the ones that are easy to love.  God can see all of this because His love is unending, unwavering and eternal for every one of His creations.  We are His children and He loves us even more than we love our own.

Our children learn from our words but they learn more from our actions.  If you have disdain for another person or love your child knows by your body language and the way you treat that person.  If you desire to keep a distance your child will pick up on all of your cues.  We teach our children even the lessons we don’t want to pass on.

Today contemplate for a few minutes who are the “weeds” you encounter in your daily life?

Is it the homeless guy you try to avoid eye contact with holding the sign at the exit ramp?  You could instead make eye contact, smile and just say a prayer for him; he was once a child too.

Is it the check out girl with the pierced everything and you just can’t understand why she would mutilate her face like that?  You could smile and just say thank you without judgment.  She was some one’s child once too.

Is it the power hungry, money driven people, bosses, co workers and others you have met that just don’t get what life is all about?  You could pray for them to find God in simplicity and show them a simple smile to show friendship, they were children once too.

We were all children and had mothers, like us, that would defend us to the death.  We are still children of God and he sees that there are no weeds.  Let us try to love as God loves us, to see as God sees us and know there are no weeds just beautiful flowers like mushrooms that grow all about us.

Copyright 2009 Lori Hadorn-Disselkamp

How often do we as moms know that our children are in the room with us we hear them but don’t listen?  How often are we asked a hundred questions while we are fixing dinner, doing laundry or scrubbing the bathroom floor but by the 5th question we just zone out?  How many of we moms try to answer the questions in the car but are distracted and just want to hear the lyrics of our favorite song for once?  How often do we look directly at our children and see Jake in the picture, we see just part of our child because the rest is in the shadows hidden by our busy lives?  Do we even see the concern in our children’s eyes?  We have so many other tasks, jobs and priorities that take us far from our children even when we are standing right by their side.

As moms do not consider it neglect.  Consider it living a life that is too busy for one person to live but we know no other way.  As moms we multi task which means something is going to miss out.  I personally do it way too much and I stay at home with my children.  You would think a stay at home mom would have much more time to concentrate on their children.  In some ways we do, quantity the amount of time we spend with our children is enormous because we are physically with them but not always mentally.

Looking at this picture pulled at my heart and made me consider next year I will not have the quantity of the time any more, he will be in kindergarten.  Every time I come to this realization I drop things and swoop him up into my arms and hold him so tightly.  The other day I dropped all I had to do and snuggled and read stories with him for 40 minutes.  It was heaven on earth to leave the laundry in the washing machine, the emails unchecked, the phone unanswered, the floor not swept because I was snuggling my little Jake!

Our lives are so full, so busy, so fast paced that most of the time we don’t have time to pause long enough to really listen.  To listen to the 18th question from our children instead we just give a brief explanation and move on, but that could have been a moment.  So how do we slow down?

We can always carve out some time from our day and promise ourselves we will give to our children without interruption.  My time is bedtime, lunchtime and dinnertime.  We schedule all our appointments in advance Doctor visits, meetings, conferences.  We schedule dates with our spouses.  We schedule our entire weekend with fun events and sports etc.  Why can’t we schedule time with our children?  Our children no doubt are more important than it all.

Today look at your schedule and see where you can fit them in.  Then when all the noise from the day has faded away and you are in a place with them without interruption take the time to snuggle, listen, answer questions and just be with your entire child.  Give your child time to show you who is in the shadow behind the fence.  Our children just want to be seen completely, loved entirely and as moms that is truly what we want to do.

So stop feeling guilty and schedule time with your children daily to let them just be with you, don’t go out on the town with distractions.  Just be home with each other, just be together.  Hold your child’s hand, lead him out from behind the fence and let yourself have the time he deserves to be loved by his favorite person in the world to him YOU his MOM.

Copyright 2009 Lori Hadorn-Disselkamp

This precious garden is owned by the kindest woman.  Her kids have all grown and she is now a grandma.  Her garden is her baby, her source of relaxation and work wrapped into one.  It is her place of peace and potential she imagines for it.  She says she never had a plan for it.  She just moves plants from one place to another and buys new ones.  She has a pond full of goldfish and two swings that the neighborhood children sometimes sit and read books on.  She has a little area set up to see tadpoles grow and a small turtle she found waiting in a little box for all the children to visit.   She leaves books out for us to learn from.  She is so open and welcoming.  Just like the sign beside the gate that says welcome, she is sincere. We visit the garden whether she is there or not because we feel that welcome.  The garden is a special place to my children, the children I babysit and me.

The garden is God’s creation growing wild yet tamed by a sweet woman who pulls the weeds and tends to its needs.  The garden gives to all who choose to look and acknowledge its very existence.  The garden waits for those who stumble through it to discover the little details we miss as we run through our life from one activity to the next, wishing it was over to get to that next thing.  The garden offers peace and tranquility for all who open its little green gate.

We see God within the garden.  He waits for us to run through His creation, to breathe in His scents to feel revived by his most brilliant colors and sites.  God waits for us just down the street. Waiting for us, welcoming us anytime to feel his peace and witness His Creation.  He has given it to us to savor.

So when will you open the little green gate step inside and breathe in the scents and savor His Creation that is Nature?  Will it be today?


Copyright 2009 Lori Hadorn-Disselkamp