We are rapidly approaching what will be our first Christmas with children. My husband and I have been prayerfully discerning how to truly live this blessed holiday, begin family traditions that honor the true spirit of the feast, and, most importantly, to avoid the consumerism that so often takes the focus away from Christ. Beyond the never-ending question of whether we play “Santa Claus” or not, we believe our primary goal as parents is to bring our faith home for the holidays and close society’s influence out. For so many, the idea of Advent and Christmas conjures images of packed shopping malls, traffic jams, and difficulty maintaining a budget, with only the faintest idea of Christ in the manger. As a mom, I want to revive traditions of the Church that restore the beauty of these holy seasons.

Advent, the weeks before Christmas, is a time meant to be spent in expectation and waiting. There are many ways to cultivate this time of hope and anticipation for the coming of the Christ-child. The first common practice is the Advent wreath. Crafty families sometimes make their own. We bought ours. The Advent wreath is round, symbolizing God’s mercy and never-ending love. It is made of evergreens, reminding us of God’s “everlastingness,” as well as new life. The purple candle reminds us that Advent is a time to ask for and give forgiveness. The pink is symbolic of joy and hope in awaiting the Infant Jesus. Each Sunday of Advent, as part of morning or evening prayer, one new candle is lit. A nice song to accompany this, or any other prayer time, is “O Come O Come Emanuel.” This hymn beautifully expresses the themes of Advent.

When lighting the Advent candle, one may also take this time to add other meaningful practices. The Gospel of the day can be read or windows on an Advent calendar can be opened (these can be homemade or purchased). Symbols can be added to a Jesse tree (see below), details can be added to the crèche, or the Joyful Mysteries of the rosary can be prayed.

A Jesse Tree is based on the verse Isaiah 11:1: “A shoot will come up from the stump of Jesse; from his roots a Branch will bear fruit.” The Jesse Tree is hung with ornaments representing the Old Testament people and events, the roots of Jesus. Jesse tree kits can be ordered or the ornaments can be made from scratch. There is one ornament for each day of Advent, and each has a scripture reading. Further, this can be used as a tool to learn more and teach your children about Old Testament figures.

On the first Sunday of Advent, which is the beginning of the new year of the Church, one tradition we hope to cultivate is that of choosing a patron saint for the liturgical year. One could simply each pick a saint for himself, or, for more excitement, each family member selects a saint, which is then placed into a hat. All family members draw their saint for the year at random. This saint can be invoked every morning as part of morning prayer. In some traditions, each person studies the life of their respective saint and at some time during the year, tells the entire family his/her story.

While the hat is out, another nice idea is to have a paper with the name of each family member. Everyone chooses a name (not his own) from the hat, and then has the task of performing daily little surprise favors for the individual they drew until Christmas day (for example, making their bed, picking up their toys, praying a rosary for them-then informing them on a little holy card). The tradition is known as Christkindl (Christ Child),` and the person under your care then becomes for you the little helpless Christ in the manger, so these acts of kindness are done, in a sense, for the Infant of Bethlehem.

One of my favorite customs is the Advent practice of writing a letter to the Holy Child (rather than Santa) mentioning resolutions for the weeks of Advent and listing all gift wishes. This letter is then placed on a windowsill, and the Guardian Angel (or St. Nicholas) will deliver the letter to Heaven and read it to the Infant Christ.

The Christmas crib, a practice dating back to St. Francis, is a common Catholic idea. The crèche and manger scene is set, with an empty crib. Or, some families opt to slowly add figurines and pieces throughout Advent (except the Magi, they come at the Feast of the Epiphany). On Christmas morning, Jesus is placed in his crib, traditionally by the youngest child able to do so. Another way to add to this lovely custom is to keep a bag full of straw. Each evening, after family prayers, each child takes as many pieces of straw from the bag as he has performed sacrifices, prayers, and good works (including those he has performed for Christkindl) during that day in order to please the Infant Jesus. The hope is to encourage the spirit of Christmas giving and love so that Christ has a soft bed upon which to lie on his birthday.

The final week before Christmas (December 17 through December 23) is the time for the O Antiphons. These are brief, scripturally based prayers, based on the titles for Christ revealed in Isaiah. These can be read each evening of this week while lighting the Advent candles; the pertinent scriptures can also be read.

On Christmas Eve, we hope to foster the tradition of reading aloud the Nativity story (many choose to read St. Luke’s account). This is the perfect opportunity for the first chance to sing “Silent Night.” We also want to observe the tradition of waiting until Christmas Eve day to decorate the Christmas tree, and then keep it up until the Vigil of the Epiphany.

The custom of central Europe, France, Spain, and Central and South America is that the Christ Child with his angels, trims the tree and leaves the presents rather than Santa. Some families I know attribute the gifts to St. Nicholas. In Irish families, Christmas Eve begins the lighting of the “Great Christmas Candle,” which is large enough to last the twelve days of Christmas, and is traditionally red.

One way to beat consumerism is to make it a custom to give at least some homemade gifts; this is a very fun way to incorporate young children into the giving of the season. Other families try to give one gift per person in honor of St. Nicholas, and three family gifts in honor of the gifts of the three Wise Men. The family gifts are items that everyone can enjoy, such as games, books, movies, etc.

Spend Christmas day listening to and contemplating sacred and holiday music as a family. Throughout the season of Christmas, until Epiphany, family prayers can be said around the crib and beside the Christmas tree.

A nice practice for Epiphany is to burn frankincense and myrrh, two of the precious gifts given by the Magi to the baby Jesus. In some areas, it is common to inscribe the initials C (Caspar), M (Melchior) and B (Balthazar) above the front door in honor of the three Magi. This is written with blessed chalk, and the initials are enclosed by the year and connected with crosses (for example: 20+G+M+B+09). The letters, in addition to the names of the Wise Men, also represent the Latin phrase Christus mansionem benedicat (Christ bless this house). Additionally, Epiphany the day for taking down the Christmas tree, as the Christmas season ends.

It may not be practical to attempt all of these Christmas customs at once; however, I do hope to try many of them. For families who already have a routine, but are hoping for a bit more ‘Christ’ in Christmas, gradually add customs and rituals to your norm, and plan to retire a secular activity with each sacred one you add.

Here’s to happy and holy holidays! Merry Christmas!


Copyright 2009 Ericka Soileau