Comments on: Avoiding Mass Hysteria – Teaching Children to Behave in Church by Elizabeth Ficocelli

By: Lisa Hendey

Lisa Hendey — Sun, 17 Oct 2010 00:48:34 +0000

Amanda – please persevere and hang in there. I know that this can be so very tough. My younger son was a true monster in mass, and I was frequently in Mass by myself before my husband joined the Church. Just try to take this in baby steps, one week at a time. I know it’s so hard right now, but if you’re patient over time things will get better. Also please don’t let those other parishioners get you down – your kids are the future of our Church, and they won’t ever learn to be in Mass unless you persevere and keep taking them. Is there a kindly “grandma” or older mom type who might be able to sit with you and help? I wish you were in my parish – I would definitely love to sit with you and help!
Prayers and hugs – hang in there mom!

By: Amanda

Amanda — Fri, 15 Oct 2010 19:06:27 +0000

We do fine at Sunday Mass with both my husband and I to deal with the children but for daily mass my two year old becomes a monster. I’m so embarrassed by her behavior. I also have a 10 month old and she is perfect but I still have to hold her so I can’t hold my toddler (I’ve tried and she won’t leave the baby alone). When I take her to the back of church she flips out and takes her shoes off and throws them and I can’t get her to calm down enough to go back into church. She loses her “TV privilege” when she is naughty at Mass but that hasn’t adjusted her behavior. I’ve tried to have her say sorry to Jesus (which is what we have our 4 year old do and it works great for him) but the closest I’ve got is her screaming at the top of her lungs “SORRY!!!” I think people are really starting to wish I’d stop coming. What do I do???

By: Lisa Hall

Lisa Hall — Wed, 08 Sep 2010 17:13:46 +0000

This is so good. As a CRE, have parents come to me asking how I expect their children to be able to go to Mass and Sunday School. I always remind them that they have to do this at school 5 days a week and this is shorter than that. I also tell them about a friend who says her children learned to behave when she took them to the Easter Vigil – after making it through that Sunday Mass seems short!

By: The Sunday Challenge – Catholic Chapter House Blog

The Sunday Challenge – Catholic Chapter House Blog — Tue, 07 Sep 2010 13:59:39 +0000

[...] be nice to actually follow the readings and homily again before she turns eighteen. I found some helpful tips on [...]

By: Laura

Laura — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 13:05:29 +0000

Good behavior in church is also something CCD teachers try to teach to their students. Here is a lesson I do with my class (our first class of the year too) and I think it helps.

http://catholicblogger1.blogspot.com/2008/10/ccd-lesson-plan-church-respect.html

By: Lisa

Lisa — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 03:39:32 +0000

Beautifully written; thank-you! We have ten children and this is pretty much, point by point, how we’ve taught our children, as well. With good results. There are, indeed, good and bad days, but in the big picture, it’s been worth all the effort. We’ve been blessed by compliments, and encouraged to try to help young parents as we’ve been able. I’m pleased to report that our youngest continue to thrive and our oldest children (even our newly married oldest son) are still all altar servers, choir members, active parish members and proud practicing Catholics. It’s a great reward, but, we never believe our job is finished…

By: Brenda S.

Brenda S. — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 14:26:43 +0000

I am always so happy to see parents bringing children to mass, especially the moms who have to do it alone (for whatever reason!). If it takes books and Cheerios, then so be it, just please keep bringing them! I do agree that the items should be quiet and preferable religious in nature (bible stories). I spend lots of time near the band/choir to keep my anxious son engaged, and if possible close the the altar as well! I want Church to feel like a warm, friendly place for my kids. Our Parish is welcoming and provides a nursery etc. for kids, but most important, our Priest tells everyone that children are important and valued at Church. Church has always been a place of comfort and refuge for me, and I hope it will be for my children as well.

By: Kate

Kate — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 04:02:27 +0000

Our children are well-behaved at Mass although it has taken a lot of work. We employ many of your techniques, but I love all your suggestions. Our biggest problem has been the distracting toddler, but I am going to employ your lap rule and see if that will help us out. One thing that helps us it to attend daily Mass at least a couple times a week. These shorter stints have fewer distractions of other children with snacks and low-expectations. These are great opportunities for a child to gain grace and endurance for the self-control required to stay on-task. We also do revoke privileges for poor behavior (whispering, fidgeting, or disrespectful posture during Mass – doesn’t happen often.

Kate

By: Shelly @ Sound Mind and Spirit

Shelly @ Sound Mind and Spirit — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 00:43:40 +0000

I love that you were able to put in words what we have been practicing also. I only have two daughters, but I employed many of your same techniques to encourage their active participation. When my daughters were 3-5 years old, I did put them in “little children’s church” for Bible stories, but once they hit Kindergarten, they were (and are) expected to participate and behave. They love to sit in the front row so they can see. They’re not perfect…. but what you suggest definitely works. My 10 yr old just attended her first altar server training workshop!

By: Lisa Hendey

Lisa Hendey — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 00:14:54 +0000

Michelle, wow – an hour and a half is a long time! Does he say all of the masses at your parish?

By: Michelle

Michelle — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 23:14:11 +0000

Thank you Elizabeth, I will give it a try. We have a wonderful African priest and our Masses are generally 1 1/2 hours. I do agree with your concepts and will give it a try. Our children, 4 and almost 2, usually have 45 minutes to an hour of good time in them and breakdown during the consecration. However, I will leave the distractions and home and forge forward. Thanks for your indepth article!